Parenting is no easy task. It’s a full-time job; a parent is never off-duty. Kids seem to know just when a parent is most vulnerable, and this is when the true testing occurs.
God entrusts us with the lives of His children to help them grow and develop into God-fearing and service-minded adults. We are told to “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6).* I believe, however, that God also gives us children to show us our own vulnerabilities and to teach us our need for Him.
Here are four lessons I have learned from my children.
Recently I was preparing dinner for my family. I belong to a local farm program that delivers locally grown produce weekly. During peak season it can be a challenge to keep up with the incoming stream of fresh vegetables. Desperate to make a sizable dent in my supply, I prepared a dinner of beets, collard greens, and artichokes. As I presented the dinner plates to the table, I cautiously held my breath, wondering how this plate of food would be received.
I was anticipating some whining, one of the more unpleasant behaviors exhibited by children, and was rehearsing a backup plan in my mind when my two young boys both exclaimed with delight, “We get a whole artichoke for ourselves?” Dinner was happily consumed, and I was left with a feeling of true amazement and gratitude toward them.
On reflection, my mind was drawn to the children of Israel. They were on the threshold of the Promised Land when they sent 12 spies to case out the territory. Upon their return, 10 of the spies reported obstacles. Only two saw opportunity. What resulted was 40 years of wandering in the desert. A time filled with complaining and discontent.
What might have been if they had held fast to God’s promise of deliverance and without complaint had moved boldly forward, trusting God and holding on to hope. Are we as a church focused on discontent and complaint, wandering in the wilderness, delaying His deliverance? We often are so quick to find fault, dwell on obstacles, and complain. It’s so refreshing to be in an atmosphere absent of complaint, where willingness prevails. Much can be accomplished, faith strengthened, hope secured.
Kids have a way of breaking through barriers. They just speak what is in their hearts and on their minds. Maybe they don’t have as many hang-ups or fears about how they will be perceived by others.
I’m amazed and humbled by the diligent efforts my children have made in winning friends for Christ and speaking openly about their own beliefs. They eagerly attended meetings at a recent evangelistic series in order to receive a free Bible that they could give to their non-Christian neighborhood friends. The parents of these friends often comment on the children’s earnest proselytizing efforts. My children have confided in me that they desperately want their friends to know Jesus.
They are even willing to face the persecution that comes with sharing their beliefs when it’s not popular. My son recently had the experience of being in a mobile music production studio at a local summer day camp. He wrote and composed a Christian song, singing it with great enthusiasm and sincerity. This was met with mockery by a few of the other campers.
I was reminded as he shared this story that we will experience persecution for our beliefs. “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).
When I think about being bold for Christ, I remember the examples of Peter. He was known for being bold. He was the first to say something, usually with gusto and conviction. And yet one of his most well-known moments was his denial of Christ—with gusto. If Peter, bold as he was, denied Christ, then I most certainly am vulnerable to the same, although my denial of Christ might not be so obvious.
Perhaps it’s more evident in the things I don’t say. “For yet a little while, and He who is coming will come and will not tarry. Now the just shall live by faith; but if anyone draws back, my soul has no pleasure in him. But we are not of those who draw back to perdition, but of those who believe to the saving of the soul” (Heb. 10:37-39). And so my prayer is for boldness, to not draw back, to be fearless about my faith.
A few years ago I read an article about the greatest miracle Jesus performed. It was not healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind, or even raising the dead. The article proposed that the greatest miracle performed was Jesus’ forgiving the woman caught in adultery. It was through this act that grace was exemplified.
I have heard it said that rearing children gives parents the opportunity to practice grace. After all, each time a child makes a mistake or needs correction, the parent is faced with numerous choices about how to respond. For example, one can choose to ignore, punish, give in, reason with, or extend grace. Extending grace to a child when they deserve punishment can be a very powerful experience for both parent and child. As a parent, however, it is even more powerful to be on the receiving end of grace from a child.
One evening in my home was particularly stressful. My husband was out of town, I had had a tough day at work, and there was dinner to fix, homework to correct, and baths to take. I had reached my emotional limit. The next minor infraction from my son threw me into an emotional meltdown.
With harsh words and some physical corralling, I quickly sent the kids to bed. But I felt horrible. I sat down for a few minutes and quieted myself. I knew I had acted wrongly and needed to make amends. The sooner the better. I quietly opened the bedroom door. With the lights out, I approached my son’s bed. Before I could say a thing, he reached up to me for an embrace and said, “Mom, I forgive you.”
It’s a powerful thing to be in the embrace of grace. But we have to put ourselves in the position to receive grace. We must boldly approach the throne of God, the throne of grace. He is only too willing to extend it.
For some reason adults seem to think that being a follower is a sign of weakness. My kids are great followers. They will follow my husband and me anywhere. This has allowed us the opportunity to share many great adventures, often to the surprise of others who join us.
A friend of mine was astonished when my 10-year-old recently completed an eight-mile paddle in his own kayak in the middle of winter. At one point we were going against the current with gale-force headwinds. We told him, “Stick close to us, look ahead, and paddle steady and hard.” With resolve and determination he followed us to the landing. Willingness to follow involves trusting your leader. When I see my children following me, it reminds me of their trust and dependence on me to see them safely through.
Recently I overheard a Vacation Bible School leader lament that she had plenty of leaders; she needed assistants, or followers. So where are the followers? Where are the workers? Some are called to be leaders, and leaders must demonstrate their trustworthiness in order to have followers. But after all, shouldn’t we all be followers? God has called each one of us to follow Him. “Then He said to them, ‘Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men’ ” (Matt. 4:19).
I thank God daily for the blessing of my children. Through them God is working on me. He is showing me my weaknesses, my rough spots. He is providing a glimpse of Himself and His perfect love. He is guiding me in my own spiritual walk. He is workin
g through my interactions with them to transform me.
“Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 18:3).
* All Bible texts are taken from the New King James Version, copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
