AVE YOU EVER ASKED YOURSELF why so many of our young people leave the church? Probably not; most of us don't even notice it. But why is this happening? Why don't we seem to notice it? Do we really care about it? What can be done about this crisis?

Our church places an enormous emphasis on evangelism--to get more baptisms--and that's fine. But maybe we should make it a two-pronged priority: evangelism both outside and inside the church, with the second prong directed at the issue of youth retention.

We want to address this issue as a young person might address it: "straight up and in your face!" We've checked around to see if anyone knows what percentage of our youth actually leaves the church today. A colleague in Indonesia tells us that they have actually measured it, and that 39 percent of the youth there leave the church when they move into their late teenage years. If any of us ran a business and lost 39 percent of our customers, we would be fired. As an organization we should be shocked and stunned at such horrible news. Are you? You should be. You should be horrified and call an emergency meeting of your entire church to discuss the issue and start immediate plans to correct it. We aren't talking about a meeting next year; calls should go out tonight to start this process. This is an emergency!

When asked, church leaders in some areas of the world often say that about half of their youth are leaving. Others say the numbers are as high as 90 percent. Estimates of how many newly baptized members are leaving are even higher. We just might be worse at retaining new members than at keeping our young people in church.

Maybe the Lord should fire us (including both of us). We should probably be kicked out for being such poor, insensitive stewards of the children and new members of the church. We are failing.

Simple Remedies
What are we doing wrong, and what can be done to correct both of these issues (that are really one and the same)? How do we keep our young people from leaving, and how do we retain our new members? Actually, this should be easy to correct if we use the Lord's way to do it. The strategy should be simple to understand, inexpensive, and effective in all the cultures of the world.

If it took deep understanding to solve the problem, most people wouldn't get a practical version until our seminary scholars dissected and debated it for years. If this strategy cost US$1,000, most churches in the world wouldn't be able to afford it. And if we had to come up with a strategy specific to each of the world's different cultures, we'd lose heart and give up before the work even started. So let's proceed with three rules: easy to understand, free of charge, and specific to all cultures of the world.

The Limits of Our Message
Our number one problem is that we think the message of the church, which we believe to be a true and accurate message, is all people need. We think that the message (knowledge) transforms. However, researchers tell us that young people generally understand the message by the age of 12 or 14 years, and that they leave the church at about age 17 or 18. If this is true, they are leaving the church with a good understanding of the message. They are leaving in spite of understanding the gospel. We think information transforms people. If that were true, our people wouldn't leave the church. Apparently the message isn't enough.

If you think that information (message) is all people need, try this exercise in church next Sabbath. Stand up in front of your congregation and ask how many people in the church have a daily exercise program. Probably about 10 percent will raise their hand. Then ask how many of them understand that regular exercise would make them healthier. Probably all of them will raise their hand. Obviously, the message about exercise hasn't transformed their exercise behaviors.

Ask how many of them consider themselves to be over their ideal body weight. In the United States scores of people will raise their hand. Then ask how many understand that if they would eat less and eat healthier, they would drift toward an ideal body mass.

Why haven't these messages or these understandings transformed our exercise or eating behaviors? It's simple. Information does not transform. We need something more than information. In the case of the church, we need something more than message.

In Other Words
Choose an individual in your church who is well-known, whose name will be easily recognized, who has the reputation of being a devoted Christian, and who has a terrific relationship with the Lord.

At the top of a blackboard, make three columns: (1) Adventist church, (2) Mr. or Mrs. Jones (Wong or Gonzalez or whomever you choose), and (3) Jesus. Now ask people in your congregation to describe an Adventist church in one or two words. Write their responses in the Adventist church column. They will likely say things such as Sabbath, church, the true message, remnant, potluck, and so on.

Ask them to describe Mr. or Mrs. Jones (or whomever), and they will say things such as kind, friendly, sincere, helpful, interested, engaged in the lives of others, and so on.

Ask them to describe Jesus. They will say things such as interested in people, nonjudgmental, nice, helpful, healer, engaged, forgiving. When you compare the three lists, notice that people will describe the Joneses or Wongs or Gonzalezes in approximately the same words that they use to describe Jesus. But they'll describe the church in different terms.

It shouldn't be that way. If our church were what it is supposed to be, it would be described with the same words as is Jesus, because, after all, the church is to represent the body of Christ. In the book Christ's Object Lessons Ellen G. White wrote that the end will not come until Christ's true character is revealed in the lives of His followers (see p. 69). The church and Jesus should be described in the same, or very similar, descriptive terms.

The Importance of Love
The Bible frequently says that love matters. In fact, it says that the most important commandments are to love God and one another (Matt. 22:36-40). Jesus said, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another" (John 13:34, NIV).

In 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, used language that is direct and confrontational. Clearly, it's time to be serious; it's time to quit talking, be silent, and listen. He says that if we speak in tongues and don't love, we are only making noise. That's pretty direct. He says that if we have the gift of prophecy and don't love, it means nothing. And if we have the faith to move mountains and don't love, it just doesn't make any difference. He then goes on to say that if we give all our money to the poor and don't love, it simply doesn't matter.

Isn't He saying that if we preach the truth and don't love, it will be ineffective? We think so.

Love in Action
So what would Jesus do? Let's reflect His character: be kind, merciful, helpful, forgiving, a resource in times of need, and an advocate for the needy. Be engaged lovingly in the lives of all, especially our youth in and outside the church and our new believers from our evangelistic efforts.

Don't act nice; be nice. And there is only one way to do that, and that is to come into a meaningful relationship with Him as He tells us to do in Matthew 23. We don't have to be a biblical scholar, but we need to open up communication between us and the Lord. Let's talk to Him, and do it often. We can talk to Him while driving (don't close your eyes), while in the elevator, while working construction. Talk--and talk often!

The second step is to learn about Him. That doesn't mean hours of scholarly study; it simply means to read and reflect the simplicity of His message.

When we do these two things, we will become more like Him. And if that were to happen, finding people to go to the primary divisions during Sabbath school wouldn't be the hardest chore for those who serve on nominating committees each year. The toughest job would be to hold adult Sabbath school together.

If we were more like Jesus, we wouldn't greet people with a boring "Happy Sabbath." We would have an ear-to-ear smile and genuinely engage people as they came to church, and we would do the same while on the job or in the store. We would be the lights in our community, not because we act like Christians, but because we are Christians.

If we were true Christians, we wouldn't tell people to change their behaviors before they can become one of us. We would say what Jesus said: "Come unto Me." We must place things in proper order: first, the relationship with Him; second, the behavior change--not by our power, but through the power that comes through the Holy Spirit. Our message doesn't change people; the Holy Spirit changes people. Information about the Holy Spirit doesn't do the job, but reflecting His character does.

Alcoholics Anonymous defines insanity as doing what you've always done and expecting different results. If we continue to be a church of message only, we will continue to lose our youth and new converts; it's just that simple. If we come into a relationship with Christ and accurately reflect His character, expect miracles to happen. The community will no longer define Seventh-day Adventists as nonsmoking, nondrinking, nondancing, vegetarians; it will describe us as the nicest people in town.

Then we can expect not only to stop losing our youth but to gain them and their young friends into a relationship with Christ. We will stop losing new members who join the church through evangelism, but we will keep them and gain their friends. Why would anyone ever leave a genuinely friendly and helpful church?

We have the correct message; we just aren't that kind, friendly, and loving. The message without love is meaningless. The problem with believing that message is all we need is that we can hand that load off to the pastor. Accepting that we (all of us) need to reflect Christ's character means that we, the members, carry the responsibility for youth and new convert retention.

A Healthy Church
You might wonder why we, who work in areas of physical and emotional health, are addressing the topic of keeping people in the church. It's because research reports that when we surround people with warm and supportive relationships, people are less likely to use drugs and more likely to take better care of their health, live longer, have less depression and fewer hospitalizations, get out of the hospital sooner (when hospitalized), survive cancer and heart attacks more often (loneliness is associated with a 50 percent increase in the risk of dying of a heart attack), live longer when infected with the AIDS virus, drop out of college less, and so on.

Keeping people in a caring church is health-giving. Reflecting the character of Christ helps keep people from getting sick. Keep people in church, and they become healthier.

The Lord's way is easy to understand, it costs nothing, and it applies to all cultures of the world.

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Gary Hopkins, M.D., Dr.P.H., is an assistant professor of health promotion and education at the School of Public Health at Loma Linda University. Renei Drumm, Ph.D., is a professor and chair of the Department of Social Work and Family Studies at Southern Adventist University.