BY BONITA JOYNER SHIELDS

'VE HEARD THE SAYING EVER SINCE I WAS a child: "It's more blessed to give than to receive." And I was told that it was biblical—but no one could ever tell me where to find it! Finally, I located it—in Acts 20. Paul was quoting Jesus.

And I agree with the saying—but who can argue with Jesus? There is blessing in giving—not only for the recipient but also for the giver.

Think of a time when you gave a loved one a gift. You just knew they would love it. When they opened it, their eyes lit up, a smile worked its way across their face, and they said those welcome words: "It's the perfect gift!!"

Or think of a time when you gave a needy person a gift of food, clothing, or other necessities, and they responded, "I have been praying for this."

Yes, the Lord calls us to give. Giving allows us to participate with God, the ultimate giver, in meeting the needs and desires of those He has placed in our lives. It also allows us to experience the intense joy that giving brings. Giving has the potential to take our focus off ourselves and to create God's likeness in us.

Yet, could it be that we have been taught the blessedness of giving for so long—which is important—but we haven't been taught the blessedness of receiving? I believe that knowing how to receive is imperative to embracing the gospel.

What Is a Gift?
Christmas is one of my favorite times of year. I know it's commercialized and Satanized. And you're right: it's not really the time of year that Jesus was born. But there's still a magic about Christmas. It's still a time we can focus our thoughts on the birth of Jesus, to encourage peace and goodwill in our world, to listen to beautiful music that we usually don't listen to except for one month out of the year, to ride around town and see all the sparkling lights. And, yes, the gifts.

What is a gift?

We know that a gift is different from wages in that wages are payment for services rendered. Most of you readers probably have paid employment. When you receive your paycheck, I'm sure you don't say, "Oh, what a nice gift!" No. You worked for that paycheck. You might even be thinking that you deserve a couple of those paychecks for the work you rendered.

In contrast, a gift is not earned by the person who receives it. A gift is voluntarily bestowed, without expectation of return or compensation. Someone has to pay for a gift. But it's not the receiver—it's the giver.

Now, that's the definition of a gift. But it doesn't always work that way.

Think about a time when a friend gave you a gift—except you didn't usually exchange gifts with her. Oh no! you thought; I don't have a gift for her! What did you do? You went out that day and bought her a gift so you would have something for her.

The purpose of her gift was, most likely, just that: it was a gift. No strings attached. No expectation of return. Simply giving. But you felt a need to repay her for the gift.

Romans 6:23 tells us, "The wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

If we were to get payment for services rendered, we would receive death because of our sin. Not that God delights in giving out those paychecks. But it is the fair payment for our rebellion. However, our Creator, our Life-giver, chose to leave heaven to come to earth in the form of a small, vulnerable baby, live in a world much different from His own, and offer Himself as the payment for sin so we wouldn't have to receive our paycheck of death. He bought us the gift of eternal life.

But we humans have a difficult time with gifts. We can't seem to learn how to receive them without feeling we have to repay.

Why Can't We Receive Gifts?
Why is it that we have such a difficult time receiving?

One reason I believe we have such a difficult time receiving is stated best by Oswald Chambers:

"There is a certain pride in man that will give and give, but to come and accept is another thing. I will give my life to martyrdom, I will give myself in consecration, I will do anything, but do not humiliate me to the level of the most hell-deserving sinner and tell me that all I have to do is to accept the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ."¹

It takes humility to accept a gift and not try to repay. To repay keeps us on equal footing.

To accept the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ is to admit that all of us are hell-deserving sinners who need a Savior. To accept the gift of salvation and not try to repay by our works is to forgo the ability to boast that we are better than our brother or sister in Christ because we have done more than they have. Either we accept the gift or reject it.

Another reason I believe we have a difficult time receiving is that we don't take God at His word.

Many Christians I have talked to over the years have said, "I don't know if I'm saved. I hope so." Or they respond, "I'm trying." The good news is there's no trying to be saved. Either we accept and receive the gift of salvation—no paybacks, no strings attached, no exchanging the gift for good works—or we reject it.

I believe our reaction to the in-your-face person who loudly claims "I'm saved. Are you?" has been an attempt to sound more humble. We may think it's being humble to say, "I'm not sure if I have salvation," but to God it isn't. To God it's saying that we don't trust His Word. God says that when we receive Jesus as our Savior and Lord, we receive the gift of salvation (Acts 4:12; Heb. 5:8, 9). I don't always feel worthy. Sometimes when I realize how far I have to grow in my Christian life, I feel pretty discouraged. I'm sure you've felt that way at times as well. But we must not allow our feelings to overrule the Word of God. No matter how we feel, the Lord has promised the gift of salvation to us because we have accepted a relationship with Jesus Christ, and I believe it is a lack of trust when we don't speak with assurance of our salvation. The fact is that we are not being saved; we are saved.

This doesn't advocate the once saved, always saved belief. We are creatures of free choice. We can choose to consistently disregard God's Word, and to sever our relationship with Christ. But we are also not to live in fear each moment of our lives, never feeling assured of our salvation.

Have you received the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ without trying to give payment? You'll never be able to give enough. Have you accepted that you have salvation no matter how you feel? You'll never feel worthy enough.

How Do We Learn to Receive?
Besides the celebration of Christ's birth, Christmas can teach us a lot about salvation. How we give and receive gifts is a powerful lesson in embracing the gospel. I would like to share what has helped me learn to receive gifts, both physically and spiritually:

1. Allowing someone to give to me without attempting to repay, and granting them the joy of giving.
Shortly after I got out of college in my early 20s, I was living on my own for a while. I enjoyed being independent and being able to pay for my needs myself. However, when Mom and I would occasionally go shopping, she would sometimes say, "Dad told me to pay for this for you." But I'd protest. Then I came to realize that Dad and Mom enjoyed buying things for me. It gave them great joy. So sometimes I would let them pay for something just because of the joy they received in giving.

God is the ultimate gift giver. God must experience great joy when we receive His gifts without trying to repay Him. And He also must experience great anguish when we won't trust Him and His Word enough to accept His gifts.

2. Checking my motives in giving.
I talk to myself—I think you should know that. (Some of my friends talk to themselves too, so
I do have company!)

Let's repeat the scenario at the beginning of the article. A friend brings you a gift. You haven't bought them one. What do you do? Talk to yourself. (I wouldn't suggest doing this out loud!) Did I plan to buy them a gift? If the answer is yes, but you just hadn't gotten around to buying it, go ahead and get them one. But if the answer is no, and the only reason you would buy them one is because they bought you one, forget it! Humble yourself and allow them the joy of giving. I've been on the receiving end of someone buying me a gift because they felt obligated, and I felt very disappointed.

What about your life? Do you do what you do because you love God and others, or for some other motive (i.e., fear, guilt, etc.)? It's a difficult question to ask ourselves, but it must be asked. We can be giving of our time, talents, and money, but for the wrong motives.

3. Learning to take people at their word.
My friend Joanna² chooses not to exchange gifts at Christmas. And her friends understand that. But I've told her, "Joanna, I understand you don't give gifts. But I like giving you gifts. So when I give you a gift for Christmas, please know that I don't expect anything in return. It's something I want to do for you." And it makes me feel good to know that she takes me at my word. She doesn't try to repay. Her sincere gratitude, thoughtfulness, and trust of my word give me great joy.

Jesus must feel incredible joy when we, like children, wait expectantly for the gifts that Daddy brings us; when we put aside our pride and run to Him for those gifts; and when we, with bright eyes and wide smiles covering our faces, embrace those gifts and revel in them.

God's Gifts for Us
You know, it's not just the gift of salvation that we need to learn to accept. It's all the other gifts the Lord gives us along with it.