BY HERMINE L. GRAHAM
AVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE GIVING UP? Like you were on the edge of your sanity?
Like your back was against the wall?
Being on the edge is something we Christians don't feel comfortable
talking about, but many of us have been there. Sometimes we feel that life's
circumstances have us in a stranglehold. We feel ourselves sinking into despair.
We may even ask, "Why does God keep us from stepping off the edge? Why
doesn't He just allow us to let go?"
Despair
In the mid 1970s Seligman developed one of the early psychological theories
of why people become depressed. His theory was based on a number of experiments
with rats. Seligman found that rats housed in a cage that was divided into two
sections, when receiving an electric shock on one side of the cage, learned
to move to the other side to avoid the shock. If they were then given an electric
shock on that side of the cage, they learned to move back to the other side—away
from the shock. But if the rats experienced electric shocks continuously, no
matter which side of the cage they were in, they eventually just sat still—helpless—because
they were unable to predict/avoid the unpleasant event. These phenomena Seligman
called "learned helplessness." His theory suggested that when we experience
depression/despair similar to the experience of the rats, we are experiencing
learned helplessness. Unable to avoid/predict adverse life circumstances/events,
we become paralyzed, trapped.
"Mental ill-health is so common that at any one time,
around one in six people of working age have a mental health problem" (National
Service Framework for Mental Health, September 1999). The facts about mental
health problems are quite sobering. Of 1,000 people who see their general practitioner/family
doctor in one year, 334 will consult regarding mental health problems. Women
aged 25-44 years are three times more likely to complain of depression than
men. Some call depression the "common cold" of mental health problems.
Thirteen to 20 percent of the population are said to be depressed (Gelder, Gath,
Mayou, and Cowen, 1996). A Samaritans poster advertising campaign states, "Did
you know that in the UK more people are on antidepressants than voted for pop
idol?"
Mental health problems are a serious issue for all of society,
and it affects everyone, including Christians. The British Department of Health
Statistics suggests that about 100 people commit suicide every week in England—that's
approximately 5,000 per year, an average of one person every 13?4 hours. The
most at-risk group is young men. Suicide is the most common cause of death in
men under 35 years old.
Despair blinds us to any glimmer of hope. It paralyzes us into
inaction, and frightens us away from dreaming. Despair takes us to the edge,
depresses us, weighs us down, and screams at us: "Just let go! Just give
up!" Martin Luther King, Jr., said, "If a man has not discovered something
that he will die for, he isn't fit to live." Let's turn that statement
on its head: "If a person has not discovered the cause that they live for,
they aren't ready to die."
For what cause do we live? Have we discovered the purpose for
which we were created? Did we once know before we were pulled off course by
life and made to lose our focus?
Hope
Hope is the opposite of despair. Hope is what Satan seeks to deny us, because
hope is the basis and foundation of faith. It is recorded in Hebrews 11:1: "Now
faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
Faith is a verb as well as a noun—an action word. Faith is hope in action.
Hope is represented most clearly in the life of Abraham: "By
faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after
receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he
went. By faith he sojourned in the land of promise, as in a strange country,
dwelling in tabernacles with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same
promise: for he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and
maker is God" (verses 8-10). Why did Abraham leave comfort, security, and
the familiar to trek around in the unfamiliar and unknown? It was because he
had a hope of something more than what his human eyes could see, more than his
hands could touch.
When Satan brings doubt, hopelessness, and despair into our
lives, we may find our faith fading. At such times it's difficult to step into
the unknown and trust God. But hope opens our eyes to the cause to which we
were called; to the purpose that God created us for—even in the presence
of adversity.
Jesus was clear about His purpose in life. Even when confronted
with the predictions of His death on the cross, Jesus said, "To this end
was I born, and for this cause came I into the world" (John 18:37). Jesus
was saying, "I was born for a cause, I live for that cause, and I'm prepared
to die for that cause." Jesus' cause was to testify about the truth, the
truth about the King and the kingdom!
As we journey through life, in order to banish despair, even
when confronted with adversity, calamity, grief, loss, and fear, we have to
know the cause for which we'll live. If we fix our eyes on that, God can breathe
life into our vision, more than we ever dreamed possible.
Preparing for the Cause
How do we banish despair from our lives? Here are five strategies:
1. Guard our minds. John the Baptist knew the cause
he lived for, and spent a lot of time preparing his mind for the onslaught of
Satan. He must have appeared an odd man for his times. He isolated himself in
the hills, and came into the towns only to proclaim a judgment message. It couldn't
have been easy, but Ellen G. White wrote about him, "The burden of his
mission was upon him. In solitude, by meditation and prayer, he sought to gird
up his soul for the lifework before him. . . . So far as possible, he closed
every avenue by which Satan could enter, yet he was assailed by the tempter.
But his spiritual perceptions were clear; he had developed strength and decision
of character, and through the aid of the Holy Spirit he was able to detect Satan's
approaches, and to resist his power" (The Desire of Ages, p. 102).
We never know in advance when or how Satan will come to discourage
our faith or steal our hope, but one thing we know for sure: he will come. He
will tempt us to distrust God and question His love.
2. Trust God. We can spend hours, weeks, and years distraught
or worried, trying to figure out why this or that situation has happened, or
how we can get out of or change a bad situation. We may look everywhere for
answers, except the one place where hope is to be found. Consider Mrs. White's
comments about the woman at the well (John 4): "She was looking backward
to the fathers, forward to the Messiah's coming, while the Hope of the fathers,
the Messiah Himself, was beside her, and she knew Him not. How many thirsting
souls are today close by the living fountain, yet looking far away for the wellsprings
of life!" (The Desire of Ages, p. 184).
You might say: "It's easy for you to say just trust Him.
But believe me, it's not." Only recently have I begun to anchor myself
and my trust in God. My recognition of the stability, assurance, and strength
that is God came to me this past summer while on holiday in Bermuda.
One day I sat on the beach as the sun was about to set and
observed a large, magnificent rock protruding from the depths of the sea. While
the waves crashed against this rock and seemed to engulf it, the rock remained
unmoved. It suddenly dawned on me:
I needed to anchor my trust, hope, and faith in God; He is the
one sure, constant, and dependable thing in life. "'I know the plans I
have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future'" (Jer. 29:11, NIV). I basked in that
moment of assurance.
3. Fill our minds and lives with pure things. God seeks
to renew our minds. The apostle Paul wrote: "Do not conform any longer
to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good,
pleasing and perfect will" (Rom. 12:2, NIV). What does God wish us to fill
our minds with? Again, the apostle wrote: "Whatsoever things are true,
whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things
are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report;
if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things"
(Phil. 4:8).
Not long ago I noticed that I was waking up with my mind racing,
full of all the things I needed to do; worrying, planning ahead, trying to work
out the best way to move forward. This was starting to do me in, and I would
wake up feeling as tired as if I had never slept.
I went to prayer meeting, where we were studying Jesus' sermon
on the mount (Matthew 5-7), a Beatitude each week. That week's beatitude was
"Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God" (Matt. 5:8).
The elder leading prayer meeting mentioned that it takes 21 days to change a
habit. I decided to allow God to renew my mind and change my focus from negative
to pure thoughts of praise. When a worry came, I quoted a promise, for example,
"God wishes above all things that I prosper and be in good health."
Then I prayed, "Lord, You said You want good things for me. I can't see
what You're doing, but I'm going to trust You. Please reveal to me at some point
what You're doing."
Within 14 days I had stopped waking up with a worried, racing
mind. Notice Ellen White's comment: "In the future life the mysteries that
here have annoyed and disappointed us will be made plain. We shall see that
our seemingly unanswered prayers and disappointed hopes have been among our
greatest blessings" (The Ministry of Healing, p. 474).
Sometimes our worries, stress, and despair are caused by unrealistic
expectations. I've come to realize the importance of our accepting our limitations.
Sometimes our mind is full of worry and stress because we are not content with
the blessings we have. The pastor at my church gave a practical strategy to
reduce stress and discontentment. He said, "Sometimes we need to cut our
ambition to suit our condition." Contentment is key to a pure mind—a
mind of hope. I carry a quote in my work diary that helps me refocus my mind
when I start to feel restless and begin to experience discontented thoughts:
"Happiness is not getting what you want; it's wanting what you've got."
Hope lives where God is, not in someone's arms, nor in having lots of money,
a new job, a car, a house.
Our social environment also helps our hearts and minds stay
positive. We should surround ourselves with people who are positive, who encourage
us, who pray for us. I have some good friends in my church family who strengthen
my hope. I am in a prayer group, and it's hard to give up when you know someone
is praying for you.
4. Wait on the Lord. Martin Luther King, Jr., said,
"The ultimate measure of a person is not where they stand in moments of
comfort and convenience, but where they stand at times of challenge and controversy."
Problems and crises will come. Awful, unpredictable things will happen on this
earth. But the one sure thing, the one steadfast and unchanging thing, is God.
The assurance He gives is that if we wait on Him in the midst of adversity,
He becomes our hope, and we don't have to despair. His promise is: "When
thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers,
they shall not overflow thee" (Isa. 43:2). Therefore, we don't need to
be swayed by every feeling, situation, or emotion. We can anchor our hope in
God, who is steadfast.
5. Praise God continuously! David's expression of praise
is a model we would do well to follow: "I will bless the Lord at all times:
his praise shall continually be in my mouth" (Ps. 34:1). Not everything
that happens to us will be good; but in all things we can find something for
which to praise God.
Faith is the audacity of hope. If a person has not discovered
a cause they can live for, they are not ready to die. What are we living for?
Where have we placed our hope?
If you are in a state of despair and feel that hope is gone,
then I challenge you to choose daily to hold on to God. Choose to live for God's
cause, to walk with Him, to anchor yourself, your hopes, your dreams to the
Rock.
With Paul I say, "I pray also that the eyes of your heart
may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called
you" (Eph.1:18, NIV).
_________________________
Hermine L. Graham is a clinical psychologist writing from Birmingham, England.
