BY TAMMY McGUIRE

T HAPPENED many years ago. But the memory of it, and the lessons I've learned, are as fresh as yesterday.

Lesson 1
I remember once as a little kid wanting very much to buy my daddy a special birthday present. In J. C. Penney, I'd seen a tie with alternating brown and orange slanting stripes, each the width of a Loma Linda Big Frank.

For some inexplicable reason, I felt as if that were the perfect gift for my father. I was convinced it was a gift that would let him know just how much I loved him. In the perspective of time, I see that tie in my mind's eye and view it as a hideous thing, something cheap and ugly. But from my childish perspective, I thought that nothing in the world could ever be as lovely and perfect a gift as that.

The only problem, of course, was that I had no money--only the pennies children keep in their banks, but not nearly enough to buy that tie. I remember very clearly going to my father one evening as he sat in his recliner to ask him if I could borrow some money (telling him that the dollars would go for a good cause--his birthday--but, of course, not revealing the particulars of the exquisite gift). He pulled out his wallet and gave me a $5 bill, a little bit more than I'd asked for.

A few weeks later on his birthday, he opened my carefully wrapped package with that Halloween-colored tie lovingly swaddled in fancy tissue paper worthy of only the classiest of gifts. He said he loved the tie and gave me a giant bear hug. I do not recall ever paying back the money, and he never called my debt into account.

lndeed, it's true; I borrowed from my father the very money I used to buy him his own gift. This and the fact that I never repaid him seems full of irony to me. It's only now that I am beginning to understand that the same holds true for my spiritual Father as well. The money I put into the offering plate is money He gave me. The time I spend in His service is time He's granted me. The talents I so want to use in effective ministry are talents He's bestowed upon me. Victory over sin, He grants me. The very love that I have for Him is a gift from Him. Such is the nature of God, that He never hesitates to lend us whatever we need, though we will not be able to repay Him.

Yes, it's my heart's desire to give Jesus the gift of effective service, of a pure heart, of a character that pleases Him. But I cannot. I have not the willpower nor sometimes even the inclination to do so. I require His spirit, His healing touch, His blessing to give Him anything of worth at all. I borrow, and borrow, and borrow, knowing that I never can repay. And knowing that I never can repay, He keeps giving and giving and giving.

There is no question about it--our God is an awesome God.

"Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!" (Isa. 55:1).*

"You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion" (2 Cor. 9:11).

Lesson 2
I believe that my dad liked that orange-and-brown tie because it was a gift from his little girl's heart. Memory does not offer any recollection that he ever actually wore the tie, however. I don't know that it was something he would have put on his birthday wish list, and it surely was not something he needed!

I never really thought about God wanting something different from what He was being given, or being given something that He didn't actually need, either, until I stumbled upon Psalm 50 one evening. Here is a psalm with one of those memorable lines everyone knows and quotes, but a chapter I'd never digested in its entirety. Here God tells His people, "That is what you're giving Me, but this is what I really desire."

At the beginning of the psalm, the sovereign and mighty God is summoning His people to come before Him. "Hear, O my people, and I will speak. . . . I will testify against you" (verse 7). He talks of all the "gifts" of burnt offerings they give Him, but He says, "I do not rebuke you for your sacrifices or your burnt offerings, which are ever before me" (verse 8). It seems that these sacrifices were many and generous (they were "ever before" Him). It was not the gifts themselves, apparently, that He had "against" his people.

In the next few verses we find that what God has somewhat "against" centers upon what seems to be the underlying assumption of His people that He needs this multitude of sacrifices. With a set of striking questions, God leads His people to see that their gifts, while accepted, are not what He most desires. God does not need bulls and goats from their stalls, because the "cattle on a thousand hills" are already His. Indeed, He reminds them, "If I were hungry I would not tell you, for the whole world is mine, and all that is in it" (verses 10-12). He does not need their sacrifices for food or drink: "Do I eat the flesh of bulls or drink the blood of goats?" (verse 13).

And then, in a most startling revelation, He tells His people what gift He does desire. Instead of numerous and endless sacrifices, He tells you and me and all His people what kind of sacrifice, what type of gift, He actually wants. "Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the most High, and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me" (verses 14, 15).

Number one on our Father's wish-list are gifts of thanks and a relationship in which He is the one we petition in our time of need.

May the Lord of the whole earth grant us a thankful heart so that we may give Him thanks. And may we give Him the gift of calling upon Him in the day of trouble so that He may deliver us. Thus, we honor Him. These are the gifts God asks for. These are the gifts God wants.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:6, 7).

"He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God" (Ps. 50:23).

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* All Scripture references in this article are from the New International Version.

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Tammy McGuire is a veteran boarding academy English teacher who is now pursuing a Ph.D. in communication and who spends every free minute playing in the great outdoors.