BY HOMER TRECARTIN

Homer and Barbara arrived in Nairobi, Kenya, in May 1999, where Homer took up his responsibilities as finance director for ADRA/South Sudan. Sudan is one of 14 countries in the Middle East Union Mission, which is part of the Trans-European Division. But because of the continuing civil war and lack of infrastructure in southern Sudan, the ADRA/South Sudan office is located in Nairobi, part of the East-Central Africa Division.--Editors.

The Family Makes the Person
Kiziah, my head accountant, stepped into my office and said, "I was wondering if I could take off Friday through Tuesday."

We were midway through a two-week seminar on accounting and finance put on by someone from ADRA headquarters. I knew it was something Kiziah very much wanted to be a part of, and I paused, trying to think why he might be asking this. He shifted his feet and went on. "My cousin died, and I am responsible to get the body back to our hometown. We have been trying to collect the money for two weeks. Finally we have it, and the family feels I need to take the body right away. We will go Friday by matatu [mini-bus jam-packed with people], and the funeral will be on Monday. I will use some of my annual leave days."

As I said "Yes" my mind began piecing together some other parts of a puzzle picture Kiziah had been painting for me. I remembered how he had told me of several nieces and nephews that he and his wife help to sponsor in school. I thought of how he works on his off-time as a contractor/salesperson for some of the furniture makers in the area to earn more money to help with their tuition. Kiziah makes excellent wages for Nairobi. He and his wife have no children, but they still live in one of the sprawling "estates" (inexpensive apartment complexes) that surround the city. Because they have good jobs and no children, they are expected to help with many of the needs of the extended family. And they don't even seem to question their role. That is part of life. If they were in need, someone would just as quickly come to their rescue.

That brief glimpse could be multiplied many times just among our ADRA staff. The family is the basis of life. One's identity grows out of the family, much more so than out of the job, the house, or the social standing. Allegiance to the family runs deeper than to a country, a boss, or even a spouse.

Barbara and I have been quite well accepted by our staff. However, if we ever really became one of them (and both reading and experience seem to indicate they would accept us quite readily), we would also need to accept the responsibilities of being part of the family. That would include people stopping for a night (or a month), expecting help with tuition, wanting special favors in regard to jobs, loans, gifts, etc. You can't be involved only when you want to be.

Within the family structure, the leader (usually an older person, but more and more often a young person, like Kiziah, who demonstrates good sense and leadership ability) will make the decisions, but only after carefully listening to the thoughts and feelings of everyone else. The decision will be based on the consensus he can see building among the members (and he may even be keen enough to anticipate that consensus before they realize they have reached it).

Within this type of social climate, storytelling plays a very important part in bringing about consensus and in helping the family to realize its identity. The old and the young are tied together by stories. New situations are evaluated against the backdrop of old stories, and old stories are adapted to fit new situations. For the most part, even in Nairobi it seems more important for the family to know who they are than for the person to know who he or she is.

Education Hurts
Meshak's eyes sparkle, and he excitedly opens the gate when I come in to the office on a Sunday morning. He is always happy to see me (or anyone else, for that matter), but especially so on the weekends. He longs for someone to talk with, and devours any reading material I can loan him. Meshak is hired by the security company we have contracted to provide 24-hour security for our office. He is a guard--near the bottom of the pay scale in Nairobi. It is boring work, and his keen mind longs for something better, something more in line with the training he has had, but there isn't anything.

At 4:30 a.m. every morning, seven days a week, 365 days a year, Meshak leaves his wife and children in one of the slums surrounding Nairobi and walks an hour and a half to be at the office just as it starts to get light at 6:00 a.m. He works until 6:00 p.m. and returns to his family in the slums, arriving there about 7:30 p.m. with the knowledge that he has nine hours to eat, sleep, talk with his wife and kids, and do anything around the house that needs doing. Sometimes he has to use part of that time to stop by his uncle's place and help his aging mother. For all that work he makes 5,000 Kenyan shillings (about US$67) a month . When he finally gets his annual leave, it is without pay which means he either doesn't take it, or spends it trying to work another job so he can pay his rent.

Of course, I don't really believe that education hurts--or do I? ADRA/Kenya and ADRA/South Sudan operate a number of educational programs. ADRA/South Sudan gives its employees (mostly Kenyans) an educational allowance to help them educate their children, and often pays for the employee to get more education as well. So how could I say education hurts?

Kenya has the highest growth rate in the world, and one of the highest literacy rates in Africa. But those two factors have combined to make some very difficult situations. First, with such a high growth rate, the families are running out of land to divide among their children. The alternative: "We will give you an education instead!" But then, armed with a primary or secondary education, those young people leave the home villages and pour into the cities looking for jobs. More than 500 per day come to Nairobi. Most end up living in the slums. Very few find the jobs they were hoping for, and many find no job at all. Prostitution, theft, begging, and angry unrest increase. But the government seems paralyzed in its efforts to change anything. What would you change, anyway? Would you quit educating the young?

Bribes and Brides
Johnson bags my groceries whenever I go to Uchumi's. Oh, there are dozens of people bagging at the long row of checkouts, but I always look around and find which one Johnson is working. Then I get in line and wait--no matter how long it is. It started when I noticed how careful he was in bagging our things the first time (much different than most of the baggers). He was careful to make sure the bread and bananas weren't under the avocados and ugali (maize meal).

That day we talked as he wheeled the loaded cart down to the ground floor and out to our Jeep. I asked if he was married, and he said no, but there was a slight hesitation. So I asked if he had someone in mind. He grinned at me and said, "Yes, but we haven't set a date. I am still trying to get things together. Maybe by next year we can be married."

I didn't say any more, and I haven't asked him about it since, but I know what he meant. He and his family were trying to come up with the necessary cows (or money) for the bride price. Because of that, I give a larger tip than I would otherwise.

And I wonder if it is fair to tip so generously in order to get your groceries bagged carefully. In Nairobi, tipping and bribing might be hard to tell apart sometimes. Gift giving, among members of a family-oriented society, may happen before a transaction, or afterward. It doesn't really matter, and in their eyes it isn't to buy a favor, but to help keep the family together and working smoothly. It is true that the boundaries become a bit fuzzy when you move from a local family to a conglomeration of families in and around a fast-paced city. It is also true that desperation and greed affect the way gift giving is used.

But just as in a western family, some well-timed gifts can do much to keep things moving smoothly. Let's face it: flowers brought home in the evening aren't a bribe by a husband wanting supper, but they certainly may have something to do with the atmosphere that pervades the constant negotiating we call marriage.

Back to Johnson. If the girl he has his eye on can wait, I think she will be one lucky woman. However, if she is like many young women, her desperate needs and the lack of her family's ability to support her may drive her into becoming the third wife of a middle-aged, well-to-do businessman instead.

Maybe my tip/bribe is not so selfish after all. Maybe I am really doing more than ensuring that my tomatoes don't get squashed under my laundry soap. Maybe I am helping Johnson keep a young woman from becoming a lifelong slave of an older man looking for another fling.

And to make the education problem just a little more complicated, a recent study showed that girls given an education were less likely to become a second or third wife. The reason: it delayed the need for them to be out on their own, and gave the young men of their own age a few extra years to get established and be able to afford a wife.

Unanswered Questions
To bribe or not to bribe? To educate or not to educate? To become totally immersed or not quite in a family-oriented society? These are questions that I haven't completely answered yet. Maybe I never will, but I know that the reading and research I have done here at the mission institute have helped to sensitize me to a work that can only be done under the constant guidance of the Holy Spirit.

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Homer Trecartin is the secretary-treasurer of the Middle East Union. He and his wife, Barbara, live in Nicosia, Cyprus. If you would like to receive his weekly e-mail, "MEU Musings," e-mail him at HTrecartin@aol.com.