BY FREDERICK PELSER
RITICISM HAS SOMETIMES PROVED hazardous to the criticizer. Chavigny de la Bretonnière, a French writer who had the temerity to criticize King Louis XIV, was imprisoned for 13 years (1685-1698) in the prison of Mont Saint Michel, cramped up in a small wooden cage. Abraham Lincoln, while a lawyer in Springfield, Illinois, criticized an Irish politician named James Shields. Shields challenged him to fight a duel. Lincoln abhorred dueling, but accepted to save his honor. Fortunately, Lincoln had very long arms; he chose cavalry broad swords, took lessons in sword fighting from a West Point graduate, and went through a harrowing time until the seconds on both sides stopped the duel at the last minute.
The Effects of Criticism
One of my colleagues was a remarkable man and fruitful worker for Christ. As a young man new in the church, he quickly burgeoned into the most successful literature evangelist in the conference. At college he consistently took top honors. He was in demand as a pastor and later as a public evangelist.
When he was conference president, I walked into his office one day and was struck by his air of preoccupation. I remarked on this.
"A strange thing has just happened to me," he said wryly. "One of our brethren made an appointment to see me. I thought he was in trouble and needed help, so I postponed things that required my urgent attention. But he'd hardly sat down when he started criticizing the sermon I preached in his church last week. Smiling amiably, he told me politely how sick my sermon had made him. For my sake he felt he had to perform his Christian duty and be frank. He said I had wandered from my subject, I had skimped on Bible content, and there were others who shared his feeling that I had not fed their souls. I had generally let him and them down."
With all his talent and successes, my friend was a deeply sensitive man. He had been so taken aback that he had acknowledged to his critic that he possibly had a point. "I'll scrutinize my sermons more closely," he had assured him.
I asked, "Did no one thank you after the service for the message? Were there any signs of appreciation?"
"Actually, many of the members did-some fervently," he said. "But
it could have been mere politeness, you know. Adventists are wonderful people."
Yes, many of our people are very kind, eager to overlook the speaker's failings and appreciative of morsels from the Lord's table. But if I knew my friend, he had some worthwhile things to say in that sermon, and he said them in a way that challenged attention. Mentally I took off my hat to him-a man of superior abilities, yet graced with Christian humility.
When a person has a burden to express certain words of criticism, and they'd feel remiss if they remained silent, is there no alternative?
When Abraham Lincoln ordered General Meade during the U.S. Civil War to attack General Lee at once before he could escape over the Potomac with his forces, Meade disobeyed and hesitated till his chance was gone. Nothing Lincoln said had been able to move Meade an inch. Overwhelmed and mortified, Lincoln wrote this letter of criticism.
"My dear General, I do not believe you appreciate the magnitude of the misfortune involved in Lee's escape. He was within your easy grasp, and to have closed upon him would, in connection with our other late successes, have ended the war. As it is, the war will be prolonged indefinitely. If you could not safely attack Lee last Monday, how can you possibly do so south of the river, when you can take with you very few more than two thirds of the force you then had in hand? It would be unreasonable to expect, and I do not expect that you can now effect much. Your golden opportunity is gone, and I am distressed immeasurably because of it."
This was controlled, reasoned, undeniably justified criticism. But here is the greatness of Lincoln-he never sent the letter!
Giving Criticism
No one will entirely escape the urge to criticize. But followers of Jesus should not give in to that urge until they have taken at least three steps:
First, put yourself in the place of the other person. Thoughtfully enter into his or her feelings; try to feel the heartbeat there. "So many sit aloof, or very far apart; but when we sit where they sit, we see into their heart."
In the early days of America the Indians of the northern plains had a noteworthy custom. The night before an Indian was to leave to travel among other tribes, he would sit with the chiefs around the campfire. And as the last embers were dying, he would lift his hand toward the sky and say, "Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked two weeks in his moccasins."
When I'm critical of someone, the question I must constantly ask myself is this: "Would I be different?" (Roy Adams, in Adventist Review, October 1998, p. 5.)
Second, determine to start with praise. If you can't think of points in the other person that you can honestly commend, abandon the idea of the criticism or judging. But if you think long enough, you will virtually always find things you can praise.
Third, pray sincerely and lovingly for the other person, and pray that you might be led to speak or-like Lincoln with Meade-to hold your peace. It might be God's will that you daily speak to Him about that person and not to the person at all.
Receiving Criticism
No one will entirely escape criticism. How should we cope with it?
First, realize that there are two kinds of criticism: the tactful kind that starts with encouraging words and is constructive, and the kind that focuses on the negative and unintentionally has the effect of an attack on the criticized one's self-esteem.
Second, control your emotional reaction. Bear down forcibly on the first stirrings of resentment and anger. President Herbert Hoover said he could take criticism because he was a Quaker; and they are people who believe in holding on to an inner quietness, unruffled by external events.
Third, remember that Jesus Christ was criticized bitterly and with murderous intent. You're in good company.
Fourth, be rational. Examine the criticism coolly and objectively. Does it contain truth? Try to be fair, dispassionate, and not unduly defensive.
Fifth, if you find you have been in error, confess it straightforwardly. This means you and your critic are now in agreement, which is better than being on opposite sides of the fence.
Sixth, examine the qualifications of your critic. Is he or she an able, discerning, balanced person, reputable and sincere? Then take the criticism seriously and at least promise to think and pray about it. If the critic doesn't measure up, be compassionate as Jesus would be. Express thanks for the concern and the trouble taken.
Seventh, remember that the criticism itself might be exaggerated in the mind of the critic. Don't argue. There might even be an expectation that wounded pride will most likely trigger you into fighting back. One man, faced with a situation that could produce fireworks, responded, "My critic is an eminent man whose judgment I respect. I'll examine the charges carefully and try to correct any error I come to feel guilty of."
Abraham Lincoln's solid common sense comes out memorably in his frequently quoted lines: "If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be closed for any other business. I do the very best i know how-the very best I can. . . . If the end brings me out all right, what is said against me won't amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference."
Eighth, the Bible tells us to return good for evil. Is there anything you can do for your critic? At least something you can express appreciation for?
Ninth, in parting pray with the critic in the spirit of Christ.
Tenth, allowing your sense of humor a few stirrings wouldn't hurt. Think of Artemus Ward, the nineteenth-century humorist, and it will lighten your spirit. He was once assigned by his newspaper to cover a social register ball. Having no interest in attending the affair, he wrote a brilliant and entirely fictitious account of it and arranged to have it delivered at a suitable time.
But the event was unexpectedly canceled. Ward's glowing report nevertheless duly appeared in the society column in the next day's edition.
After five weeks' absence, he cautiously showed himself in the newspaper's city room. In tones of judgment his editor thundered, "Where have you been,Ward?"
"I couldn't afford," came the demure reply, "to be associated with such an unreliable newspaper."
The Danger of Criticism
All the world's a stage-and most people want to occupy the critic's seat. If you aspire to that seat, be aware that an unhealthy critical spirit holds spiritual dangers. Pastor Merle L. Mills, president of the then Trans-Africa Division, said, "Criticism is one of the most unmistakable symptoms of a sick Christian. We should shun it like leprosy, for it can separate husband and wife, estrange children from parents, undermine respect for the authority of church and conference officials, and develop hostility between nations, causing bloodshed and war" (Trans-Africa Division Outlook, May 15, 1969).
We may judge someone for having a proud spirit, and yet we may be proud of our own opinions. Rather than judging someone else, we ought to examine ourselves
(1 Cor. 11:28). "First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye" (Matt. 7:5, NIV).
"But the Bible tells me to rebuke things that are wrong. Shouldn't I obey the Bible?" some protest. Yes, Paul instructed two ministers, Timothy and Titus, to "correct, rebuke and encourage" (2 Tim. 4:2; Titus 2:15). Church disciplinary procedures are necessary. But the Lord is probably saying the following to you and me:
"Forbear reprimanding and censuring. You are not adapted to reprove. Your words only wound and sadden; they do not cure and reform. You should overcome the habit of picking at little things that you think amiss. Be broad, be generous and charitable in your judgment of people and things" (Testimonies, vol. 4, p. 62).
When it comes to living the Christ life, our aim should constantly be to reach out for the will of God, and clear-mindedly discriminate between what advances sanctification in our lives and what does not.
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Frederick Pelser, author of various books and a former union evangelist, writes from Cape Town, South Africa.
