HE NEEDLE PIERCED MY SKIN OVER and over, injecting anesthetic on my right side just above my hip. I could feel a slight pressure as the surgeon's scalpel sliced through my skin.

It had all started with something so simple: I'd had a mole removed. Only this wasn't just a simple mole. This mole had cancer, an early stage of what doctors feared was a malignant melanoma. I was 21 years old, athletic, excited about life, and possibly infected with a deadly cancer.

As I lay on the cold hard table the doctor asked, "How are you doing?"

With eyes tightly shut I said, "I'm OK. I'm counting." In the lonely darkness with a surgeon cutting through my flesh, the only comfort I could find was in filling my mind with numbers. As serious as this situation was, I felt no desire to seek my Creator in prayer. Nor was I inspired to pick up a Bible and read its promises of peace. It never crossed my mind to pray or read the Bible.

Rebel Without a Clue
Some time later I walked across the tile floor to a bench and sat down. My head was spinning and numb. The person lying on the bench on the other side of the holding cell asked me, "What are you in here for?"

"Entering auto," I said.

The night had started out pretty routine. Friday night in a college town. Time to party. My friend Jim and I were cruising toward town when he pulled into a liquor store and we pulled out with some Jack Daniel's Black Label. We found some friends and decided the best way to drink the "Jack" was straight out of the bottle.

Eventually we returned to Jim's apartment, where he stumbled inside and crashed. My mind was still racing; I was ready for some action. I went outside, and while I was standing in the cold air an idea for a practical joke came sailing through my mind. Hey, I'll go through some of these parked cars, I thought, get trash and junk out of them, and put it in my friend's car. Won't that be funny when Jim finds his car full of trash? (Alcohol doesn't improve your rational thinking.)

I began opening unlocked car doors and diligently pursued my task. I found a rotten pair of gloves, a broken coffee mug, and other assorted trash and oddities. The only problem developed when the owner of one of the cars pulled up in another car. In just minutes the parking lot was full of flashing blue lights, and I was the center of attention. Police officers cuffed me and threw me into the back of the squad car, where there was no escaping. I tried.

Twenty-two years old, and I was in big trouble. As serious as this situation was, I didn't reach out to my Creator in prayer or seek His comfort by reading the Bible. It simply didn't cross my mind.

I enjoyed my life the way it was, and I had no plans to change. I slept well at night. Even after being arrested I was just angry with the police. Sorry I got caught, I wasn't sorry for what I had done. After all, I was drunk, and I didn't hurt anybody. I thought of myself as more of a victim of circumstances than an adult responsible for my own actions.

If I had been a Roman soldier at the time of Christ, I would have been one of those who mocked Him, pulling out His beard and spitting on Him. If I had been in the crowd at Jesus' trial, I would've been yelling, "Crucify, crucify, crucify Him!" Two thieves were crucified beside Jesus, one on the left and one on the right. One of them believed, and the other just mocked Him. I would have been the one mocking Him.

Is This All There Is?
Some five years after my bout with cancer and my "car cleaning" incident, I began to wonder if there was more to life than work, friends, and hangovers. The words There must be a better way to live kept ringing in my mind. With this thought I began a spiritual journey. I started asking questions: Am I just an evolutionary accident, or is there a Creator who designed me? If there is really a God in heaven, is He interested in me? Will He help me pay my rent, find a better job, meet the right woman to marry?

Questions for Reflection or for Use in Your Small Group 1. Why does it often seem that God uses something unpleasant to get our attention? What life lessons have you learned by heartache that you wouldn't have learned otherwise? 2. What aspects of your own life would make seeking to know God more attractive to others? 3. What changes in your personal life is God's Spirit challenging you to make? What do you need from Him to accomplish them?

When I started asking questions about God, I met Maurice. At the time, I had a flea market booth on weekends, selling guitars, amplifiers, guitar strings, and other accessories. Maurice was closer to my dad's age than to mine, but he took an interest in me. He didn't always correct me when I opened up and shared my life; he sympathized and shared some of the mistakes and challenges he'd met in life. Almost every Sunday morning, even when it was cold or he was busy with other things, Maurice would stop by to visit with me at the flea market. We became friends as we sat together on the tailgate of my pickup truck.

After six or seven weeks Maurice invited me to his home for dinner and a Bible study. A home-cooked meal is always appealing to a bachelor, but I was a little nervous about going to a Bible study. However, something deep inside compelled me to go.

I'll never forget our first evening together. For the first time in my life I saw a Christian home in action: children were calm, Bibles were being read, and Maurice had a sense of satisfaction that did not come from personal accomplishments or material possessions. With his family I began to read and study the Bible. I was intrigued as I heard people praying-opening their hearts to God, praying for me, praying for each other, and asking for forgiveness. Never before had I encountered a family seeking a genuine relationship with God. They weren't perfect, but they never pretended to be. Their lives were not full of do's and don'ts. They just tried to follow Jesus' teachings.

I found this family's relationship with God appealing. I wanted to study God's Word and open my heart in prayer to see if God would work in my life too. As I opened up to God, faith began to develop in my heart. Then, inevitably, my life began to change.

Change is Good
I welcomed and cherished the changes that God brought into my life. It never occurred to me that I had to make these changes to appease God's anger or qualify for heaven. As I read the Bible I clearly understood that the Bible was offering me both a better way to live now, and eternal life in the future. The Bible also taught me that not only did God have an awesome plan for my life, but that He would actually give me the power to make His plan a reality. Stories about Jesus made this plain to me.

One story that captivated me was when Jesus fed 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish. He had been teaching and healing people all day long. everyone was tired and hungry. Late in the day His closest friends asked Him to send the people into the villages to find some food to eat. Jesus looked at them and said, "They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat" (Matt. 14:16, NIV).

They responded, "We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish" (verse 17, NIV). Now, think about what had likely been happening all day: They were surrounded with living miracles. Lame people could walk, blind people could see, deaf people could hear. Jesus' closest friends could've said, "You've healed those who were lame, who were blind, and who were deaf. Just give us your Word and we'll feed all these people." But their first response to Jesus' request was to look at their own limitations. The Power of Creation was standing next to them, and they were counting loaves and fish.

I knew that my character was insufficient; that I didn't have very much willpower. But this story taught me that when Jesus makes a request, He follows through by giving me the power I need to accomplish it.

It's so easy to limit God's plan for our lives by counting loaves and fish. Our Creator is standing right next to us with all the power necessary to accomplish His plan. His power makes His plan a reality in our lives.

When I began to study the Bible and open my heart to God in prayer, it became apparent that God wanted me to change some things in my life. It wasn't my idea to change anything. I didn't wake up one day and say, "Hey, I need to go to church on Saturday, give God at least 10 percent of my income, and completely change my lifestyle." When I started believing God, He began the process of improving my life.

If I ever again find myself lying on a cold hard hospital table with a surgeon's knife slicing through my numb skin and he asks how I'm doing, I'll answer without hesitation: "My Lord Jesus Christ is right here with me, and I'm OK."

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Keith Trumbo is a pastor planting new churches in St. Louis, Missouri.