ATTENDED MY first women's retreat when I was 16. Mom felt it would allow me to spend quality time with her and the older women of our church. That weekend carried a mood of prayerful meditation. I couldn't help feeling close to God. The outdoor setting created a peaceful atmosphere for me to relax and redirect my thoughts to the beauty of God's creation. I appreciated the openness of women from different cultures and different walks of life as they shared their praises to God, aspirations, and successes. I listened intently as they encouraged each other in their struggles. However, something was missing.

Women seemed to connect with each other so effortlessly throughout the weekend, but for some strange reason I could not relate to anyone. At one point we formed a prayer circle and decided to pair off to pray for one another. As I glanced around for a partner the thought dawned on me: I was the youngest person there! Not by a few years, but by decades!

While women prayed about their husbands' health, struggles at work, and their children, I debated whether I should bring up my prayer requests for a good score on my SATs, a driver's license, and a cure for acne. These women shared common concerns, but not one of them shared any of mine (and vice versa) other than the fact that we were all Christian women. The obvious age gap between us separated our priorities, our lifestyles, and our experiences. The weekend ended, and all the women, rejuvenated, left the retreat accompanied by new acquaintances. I left the retreat rejuvenated, yes, but accompanied by a tinge of loneliness.

That was several years ago. I've participated in several women's retreats since then and appreciate the fellowship, spiritual renewal, and workshops even more because they applied to me at that point in my life. I made it a point to look out for teens whenever I attended women's retreats. Usually there were none present. I began to consider carefully why teenage women were not attending our retreats. Then I thought back to my own experience as a teen. They don't feel a sense of belonging. They want something specifically geared to their needs. I'm thrilled that many of our women's ministries departments nationwide have begun to formulate retreats for younger women.

"I had a burden to do a retreat for teenage girls. I went to our academy girls and asked them what they wanted us to do for them," remembers Roxy Hoehn, Kansas-Nebraska Conference women's ministries director and founder of the "Life 101" retreats for teenagers. "I was sitting in my living room one day with all their suggestions, not really knowing how to go about it. Then my daughter, 23 at the time, said, 'Mom, I can help you do this!'" When we sincerely take the time to ask what their struggles are, teens in turn will take the time to open up if they sense that we truly care to make a difference.

Today teenage women battle with stresses that were not present when we were growing up. Society bombards them with pressures to be sexy, provocative, and defiant, while parents and church leaders encourage chastity, simplicity, and faith in God. Young women constantly run the risk of getting caught up in this whirlwind of expectations and sometimes become confused about who they are and who they are supposed to be. Eventually they're left feeling unable to measure up at home, at church, or within society.

"I feel that one of the biggest questions academy girls ask themselves is 'Who am I?'" comments Linda Pennick, Pacific Union women's ministries director. Pennick holds several workshops for women of all ages regarding self-esteem and agrees that facilitating retreats especially for teen-agers is ex-tremely important. "The reason young ladies have so much trouble is that they don't know who they are outside of their families, which causes them to make the wrong choices." Healthy decision-making and cultivating a strong self-esteem are two of the many principles women's ministries leaders focus on during teen retreats.

"Once teens believe in themselves, they can do anything!" declares Sylvia Wilson, women's ministries director for the South Atlantic Conference, who completed a teen retreat during December 2001. "We must give each girl the proper tools, that she may understand herself better, then just sit back and watch her soar!"

Retreats for Teenage Women Scheduled for 2002 Greater New York Conference May 3-5 Nevele Grand Resort, Ellenville, New York Contact: PlusLine, (800) 732-7587 Ages 13-17 Southeastern Conference English July 25-28, Embassy Suites, Tampa, Florida Spanish August 9-11 (call for details on location) Contact: Nicole Brisé, (407) 532-0829 Ages 12-17 Florida Conference July 26-28 Camp Kulaqua, High Springs, Florida Contact: Raiza Fernandez, (407) 644-5000, ext. 188 Ages 14-18 Kansas-Nebraska Conference September 6-8 Broken Arrow Ranch, Olsburg, Kansas Contact: Roxy Hoehn, (785) 478-4726 Grades 9-12 Maximum attendance: 100 Central States Conference October 3-6 (call for details on location) Contact: Jacci Davis, (816) 923-7424, ext. 331 Ages 15-18 Northeastern Conference October 4-6 (call for details on location) Contact: Mireille St. Pierre, (212) 296-8006, ext. 215 Ages 12-20 Pennsylvania Conference October 18-20 Laurel Lake, Pennsylvania Contact: Tamyra Horst, (717) 442-9685 Ages 14-19 South Central Conference November 21-24 Shocco Springs Conference Center, Talladega, Alabama Contact person: Merkita Williams, (615) 226-6500 Ages 13-17

When I was a teen, I battled to keep my grades up, struggled to keep my weight down, and wondered if Jesus would return before my high school graduation. Teenage women today struggle with addictions and codependent relationships, and wonder if God is real or if the Bible is just a myth. They wrestle with issues that require an environment where they feel safe to share their concerns. Ardis Stenbakken, General Conference women's ministries director, agrees: "The purpose of women's retreats is for spiritual and personal renewal, networking, fellowship, sharing, and praying in a safe environment. Teens need that as much as or even more than anyone else." A retreat specifically tailored for the needs of teenagers can offer that secure atmosphere in which they feel at ease to discuss sensitive topics without being ridiculed or judged.

I've sat through and conducted many "women only" youth programs and roundtable discussions in which teenagers comfortably voiced their questions, concerns, and confusion about premarital sex, low self-esteem, dating, and relationships. Just as are adult women, teenage women are more apt to disclose their feelings if they are surrounded by a group of peers.

During her teen retreats Pennsyl-vania Conference women's ministries director Tamyra Horst encourages young women to evaluate how a woman's attire may transform a man's perception of her. "We ask our girls, 'What do you want boys to think when they look at you? Do you want them to think that you're loose, or do you want them to think that you're a respectable young woman?'" says Horst. "All of the girls usually say that they want boys to think they are respectable. So we explain to them the importance of portraying the right image, an image that reflects Christ's character."

As Horst realized, many teens do not have a clear understanding of Christ's character or what He expects from them. Young women have become disillusioned with our church and its doctrines especially because they are confused as to what capacity in which they should, or are able to, serve in ministry.

"At our retreats young ladies have the opportunity not only to focus on learning social skills, but also deepen their relationship with Christ," says Laura Smith, South Central Conference women's ministries director. Smith designed seminars and activities aimed toward faith building, enhancing spiritual growth, and fostering a meaningful devotional life. By educating teenagers through their retreats, about God's purpose for their lives, women's ministries directors across the country have begun to develop young women's understanding of Christ and His plans to make them prosper (see Jer. 29:11, NIV).

The teenagers who take the opportunity to attend the retreats exhibit renewed interest in God, the church, and leading a meaningful Christian life. Mireille St. Pierre, women's ministries director for the Northeastern Conference, reports that after her retreats many teens, empowered by the Holy Spirit, return to their local churches and become more active in their church programs. St. Pierre also states that the testimonies from these young women reveal that they also felt more apt to make wiser choices about dating and premarital sex.

When I attended my first retreat at 16, the concept of a women's retreat was completely new to me. I enjoyed a peaceful weekend with many caring Christian women, but I still felt a sense of loneliness when I left. I felt disconnected because of the obvious age gap. Several years have gone by, and although I'm still a young adult, my focus has changed with each passing year. I look forward to attending my next women's retreat, to enjoy a relaxing weekend, to fellowship with my sisters in Christ, to learn new things about myself, to draw closer to my Savior. This time I won't be looking out for teens. This time I'll know that my little sisters are receiving their own time of renewal.

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Fabiola Vatel is a writer and researcher for the General Conference Department of Women's Ministries.