enjamin Franklin said in Poor Richard's Almanack: "To err is human, to repent divine, to persist devilish." I've boiled the concept down: "To err is human; not to admit it is dumb." What we term as trial and error is really experience. Life is an ongoing experience, and what we learn as we go along is up to us. But one thing is for sure-we cannot live our lives over again.
Although we cannot live our lives over again, what life amounts to today is the sum of all our yesterdays. What life will be tomorrow depends on what we do today with those yesterdays.
At one stage in my life, my career meant everything. Next, I found myself in the acquisition stage-I wanted to own a house in the country; more was better. While I was passing through those stages, we were raising four children. Now the children are grown and have children of their own. I still have my career, and I once owned a house in the country. But now my perspective of what's important has changed.
One day as I was praying for our children and grandchildren, I said (and I hope I was not disrespectful or sacrilegious), "Lord, You have gone to prepare a mansion for me, and I've read You also have crowns. That's OK, but You can keep Your mansions and Your crowns. What I really want is for You to save my children."
I'm sure I always wanted Him to do that, but through the years my career and the material things of life were in the mix. Now nothing else matters. What I want from having lived this life is for our children-and grandchildren-to be saved.
This book is for parents and grandparents. (Singles can profit from it if they'll learn from our experience!) As you read this book, we'll look back, we'll examine the present, and we'll look to the future. But you'll notice that this book isn't so much about our children as it is about us. Maybe I shouldn't say that it's about you, but it surely is about me. It's about feelings of guilt, frustration, even anger and grief. If that were all there was, this book would only make matters worse. But as you read, you'll also find hope, forgiveness, trust, comfort, and love. At least I hope you find those things while reading this book.
Abraham Lincoln has been attributed as saying, "You can fool all of the people some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time." I have my take on this one, too: "We can fool some of the people all the time, and we can fool ourselves some of the time, but we can't fool God anytime."
This book challenges us to take an honest look at ourselves in the light of some of the things we go through as parents and grandparents. What you'll read isn't always positive or affirming, but I hope that in the end it brings things together in such a way that if we'll be honest with ourselves and with God we'll discover we can be invigorated and strengthened to face the challenges of today. As we do so with increasing success, we'll have hope for tomorrow. This book doesn't attempt to deny reality or mask it, but its chapters will offer comfort, and encourage us to keep on keeping on.
Before I sat down to write, I informed our children of what I intended to do and asked their permission to proceed. They have given me that permission. The one who was the prodigal of this story said, "Dad, after all I put you and Mom through, this is the least I can do." Bless his heart.
Inasmuch as this book is about our most precious "possessions"-our children-you can imagine that as I wrote and remembered, tears often welled up in my eyes. The illustrations used are taken from real life-ours. As you read each chapter, I'm sure you'll be able to supply other illustrations from the experiences of your own life. Often we aren't aware that others are bearing burdens similar to our own. Our burdens can become much lighter if we heed the words of Scripture: "Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do" (1 Thess. 5:11).
By the way, I've written not as a clinical counselor but as a person who wants to share some experiences as well as lessons learned through the application of scriptural principles. If someone were to ask me why I wrote this book, I would answer that I wrote it to give hope, encouragement, and help to others who have passed through or are passing through similar experiences.
At the end of each chapter is a section I've titled "Consider These Things." It highlights points or principles made in the chapter. There's also an interactive portion called "Discuss With Someone." Scripture says, "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend " (Prov. 27:17). Sharing together sharpens our thinking and helps us broaden our horizons. Each chapter then closes with a short prayer.
It's my desire that your commitment to our heavenly Father will have deepened as a result of reading this book. And when Jesus comes in the clouds of heaven and asks, "Where is your flock, your beautiful flock?" (see Jer. 13:20) I pray that the response will be "Here we are!"
