BY KIRSTEN TORKELSEN
S THERE A PLACE FOR ME? I've found that question echoing through my mind more times than I can count in the past several months. And I know I'm not alone.
On My Own
My life recently turned upside down: I graduated from college, packed up my things, and headed into the "real world," away from my friends, my family, my home church—everything that was familiar. I found myself in a new place, with a new job, surrounded by the unknown, looking for a new church to call home.
I imagine that in some small way my experience is not unlike that of new church members. They've found a beautiful relationship with Jesus, and that's exciting. They're on fire for God and want to savor this life-changing treasure. They've become a part of God's family. That's what it's all about, isn't it?
But what happens when the newness wears off and the routine of being an everyday Christian sets in? What happens when new members look past the excitement and search for a place to settle down?
Think of a big family reunion. Excitement is high as family members flock together. Hugs and laughter abound. As the hours pass, the adults settle in to catch up on what the years have brought. And almost inevitably there's a child somewhere in the crowd who feels forgotten. All the catching up is meaningless to them, since they're not old enough to remember half of what people are talking about. What can they do? Where do they fit into the big family picture?
So it is with God's family. As a church we need to be careful not to exclude the "children." It's easy to get comfortable in our roles and forget that with every baptism, with every membership transfer, with every visitor who comes through the door, there's someone looking for a niche, a place where they belong in this big family of God.
There are no easy solutions, and I don't claim to have the answers. But I do know what I've felt during my own search for a church home, and I can share some of the things I've observed, some of what I'm looking for.
My Wish List
I'm looking for a church that's friendly and welcoming. Not long ago I visited a local church and was immediately greeted by a friendly woman named Rose. She noticed that my face was unfamiliar and asked my name, directed me to a Sabbath school class, and chatted for a few moments. I wasn't left to wander the halls or expected to approach a stranger for help. Someone came to me. I was impressed. Church should be a place where people feel welcome.
Church should also be a place of openness and acceptance. I come from a rather traditional Adventist family, and I enjoy and appreciate a more "traditional" worship service. Coming straight out of college, however, I also enjoy a service that would perhaps be classified as more progressive. The point? There is room for a variety of worship styles. People should feel as if they're welcome to worship God in a way that is meaningful to them. But with each new expression there's bound to be someone who feels the means is inappropriate. Try to be open. Communicate through the differences, and don't snuff out the excitement of sharing Jesus in the pursuit of defining once and for all what is permissible.
I want to attend a church in which I serve a purpose; I want to be involved. Having a job to do makes people feel needed. Church is a wonderful place for involvement. When nominating committee time rolls around, there are always slots to be filled and people desperately trying to fill them. There are jobs to be done. There are people who want to be involved. There should be no problem, right? Wrong.
So many of the jobs in the church involve being "up front"—as an usher, deaconess, Sabbath school teacher, or song leader. How does the person who is uncomfortable being in the spotlight get involved? Is there a job for them? That's where spiritual gifts come in.
The apostle Paul wrote: "We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; the exhorter, in exhortation; the giver, in generosity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness" (Rom. 12:6-8, NRSV). A church should endeavor to involve its members, using the full range of spiritual gifts it has been blessed with.
Each of us—from children to seniors—has been blessed with talents unlike anyone else's. No one else can do the job you and I were created to do as we can do it. One of the goals of our churches should be to help each of us discover and practice our God-given talents. "There are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of services, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who activates all of them in everyone" (1 Cor. 12:4-6, NRSV).
Church is a place I look to for a sense of community. I want to belong. I want to walk into church on Sabbath and see not only friendly faces but friends. That's another thing I think churches should strive for—to bring people together. Provide a connection. Have social events: potluck luncheons, campouts, and prayer partners, to name a few. Organize small groups, and get involved in the community through outreach projects. I'm much more likely to be sitting in the pew on Sabbath morning, regardless of my mood or circumstances, if I know that I have friends waiting for me.
That relationship not only has the capacity to encourage and fulfill me, but it can also send a message to others. Before His death Jesus said, "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35, NRSV). They'll know that we are Christians by our love.
The Last Word
I suppose you could say I'm looking for Jesus. I want to find Him at church—in word, in thought, in deed. Jesus accepts people. He encourages the best in them, He's involved in their lives.
That's a tall order, I know; one I'm not likely to find perfectly delivered. The church is made up of human beings who will, without fail, make mistakes. And sometimes Jesus gets lost in the disappointment of broken expectations. But I'm looking for a church that tries to keep its focus on Christ.
Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me" (Matt. 11:28, 29, NIV). Jesus doesn't expect us to have everything perfected, as a church or as individuals. But He does expect us to learn along the way.
The concept of learning reminds me of school. That's something familiar to me. I like that. When I find a church doing its best to show the world what Jesus is like, I think it'll feel familiar. When that happens, my search for a new church will stop, and I'll be home.
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Kirsten Torkelsen works as a communication intern at the North Pacific Union Conference. She attends the Pleasant Valley, Oregon, Seventh-day Adventist Church.
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