IRST THE DISCLAIMERS.  I'M NOT A PARTY-pooper; I contend that life should be enjoyed to the full. I abhor guilt-tripping; I believe everyone should make decisions for themselves and not be pressured by others. But I also believe that much of Western society is suffering from a costly addiction that many would like to escape. It's called consumerism. And ironically, its worst manifestations come during the days and weeks leading up to December 25.

I say "ironically" because Christmas is the time when all Christians—both committed and cultural—celebrate an event that was the exact opposite of today's more-is-better mind-set. The Designer, Creator, Sustainer, and Owner of the universe renounced everything so He might also become its Redeemer. He was born as an infant in a rough-hewn cattle shelter. He lay among farm animals on the hay in a manger. He was clad in the cheapest of peasant baby garb.

By contrast, some 2,000 years later we in the United States celebrate this austere spiritual watershed event by spending so lavishly that in 1999 it took us an average of four months to pay off our Christmas credit card debts, according to the American Bankers Association. An American Express survey of Christmas 1999 found the average holiday gift budget to be $1,088.

So rampant is American holiday consumerism that refuse collection in the United States leaps ahead of the norm by 5 million tons between Thanksgiving and New Year's, according to the 1997 Use Less Stuff Report. And if today's kids had their way, the refuse would be even greater. Some 96 percent of 8- to 12-year-olds included a new big-screen TV on their 1997 holiday wish list, according to the March 1998 issue of American Demographics magazine.

Before I continue, let me clarify one point: The purpose of this article isn't to chastise people for their Christmas spending. That's a personal matter. Some people not only derive great pleasure from gift-giving, but also can afford it. For them it's one of the most fulfilling opportunities of the year. So why fix what isn't broken?

However, according to the New American Dream organization, 70 percent of the populace say they would welcome less emphasis on gift-giving and spending. While they may find pleasure in their Christmas activities, they feel things have gotten out of hand. In general, it seems society is wearying of the pressure consumerism places on us. Particularly at Christmas.

According to Bill McKibben, author of the book Hundred Dollar Holiday: The Case for a More Joyful Christmas (Simon & Schuster, 1998), 69 percent of Americans say they would like to "slow down and live a more relaxed life." And 70 percent of parents who make $30,000 or more per year say they would be willing to forfeit one day's pay per week in return for having the time off. "Time is in many ways our most valued commodity," McKibben says.

Unfortunately, the pressure to earn the money necessary to "keep up with the Joneses" in our Christmas celebrating means that, for many, Christmas actually robs us of time rather than creating an opportunity for prolonged family interaction and togetherness.

"Christmas should be something to enjoy rather than endure," says the dustcover of McKibben's book. "Instead of an island of bustle, it should be an island of peace amid a busy life. We want so much more out of Christmas: more music, more companionship, more contemplation, more time outdoors, more love." In short, many want to return to simpler times. We want a change of emphasis.

Such a change, in the words of McKibben, "might help to baptize and sanctify the ideas of giving time and attention and love as effectively as the old-style [i.e., the current-style] Christmas baptized and sanctified the idea of giving stuff. It might slowly change the way we think about what we want and value the rest of the year."

Real Value
The Bible tells us that a person's worth isn't determined by how much he or she owns (Luke 12:15). Yet the decibel level produced by a few Bible texts encountered occasionally is all but drowned out by what today's youth encounter daily. Television, radio, magazines, billboards—all scream out that if young people don't brush with the right toothpaste, use the right deodorant, wear the right brands of clothing, frequent the right places, possess the right things, they're doomed to be social outcasts. The message is incessant. The youth hear it clearly. They buy into it. And it becomes even more glaring when seen in the dollar-green glow of Christmas lights.

Books You Might Find Helpful BY JAMES COFFIN Helen Isolde has produced a little compendium of wisdom titled How to Have a Perfect Christmas (Dutton, 1996). Isolde's reflective gems include: "Accept the fact that holidays, like people, are not perfect." "Assess your expectations of yourself and others. Then, lower them." "Understand that only you can make yourself less busy." "Cut your social calendar in half." "Eliminate the word 'should' from what you expect of yourself and others." "Tolerate pretension, but don't practice it." "Try to enjoy your guests, not impress them." "Food is good. Too much food is not good." The book won't take more than five minutes to read—but they will be five minutes well spent. Jack Maguire's The Christmas Book (Berkley Books, 1994) is full of creative ideas about food, music, games, traditions, gifts, and much more. It has step-by-step instructions when needed, so is easy to use. The book A Gift of Sharing (Dove Books, 1996) presents a number of short stories from famous people about what Christmas (or, in some cases, Hanukkah) means to them. Many of the stories are thought-provoking and inspiring. And Penne L. Restad's Christmas in America: A History (Oxford University Press, 1995) gives great insight into how Christmas became what it is today—including everything from our traditions to our rampant commercialism. And don't forget the two books mentioned in the article—Jo Robinson and Jean Coppock Staeheli's Unplug the Christmas Machine (William Morrow, 1991) and Bill McKibben's Hundred Dollar Holiday: The Case for a More Joyful Christmas (Simon & Schuster, 1998). They're worth reading.

But this article isn't a condemnation of anyone's Christmas practices. It's not even a call for change or a statement of what ought to be done. Rather, it's an acknowledgment of the dissatisfaction that many are beginning to feel and voice. It's a report of what some are trying to do. It's a ray of hope for those who have thought they were totally on their own.

In their book Unplug the Christmas Machine (William Morrow, 1991), Jo Robinson and Jean Coppock Staeheli offer a Christmas pledge that's worth considering. "Believing in the true spirit of Christmas, I commit myself to: Remember those who truly need my gifts. Express my love in more direct ways than gifts. Examine my holiday activities in the light of my deepest values. Be a peacemaker within my circle of family and friends. Rededicate myself to spiritual growth." The book goes on to provide a compendium of questions and answers, ideas, how-to tips, and bits of sage advice for making Christmas conform more closely to a family's real values.

Robinson and Staeheli state: "While children may be quick to tell their parents that what they want is designer clothes, the latest electronic gear, and brand-name toys, underneath these predictable requests is an unspoken plea for four, more basic requirements: (1) a relaxed and loving time with the family; (2) realistic expectations about gifts; (3) an evenly paced holiday season; (4) reliable family traditions."

In many cases the perceived obligation to give gifts has become a great source of stress and a major financial burden. In such cases it may be helpful to work toward a change of expectation. The task isn't always easy, and it may be advisable to start explaining long before the holiday season arrives. Realistically, it may be prudent to plan to implement such changes in 2002 rather than in 2001. Or even to have a three- or five-year plan of phased implementation.

"It didn't go over well with some members of my family," says syndicated columnist and mother of three Michelle Singletary, who, inspired by McKibben's book, kept last year's total Christmas spending to $137.80. "I encourage you to start early in informing loved ones of your intentions.

"Early warning gives the people who exchange gifts with you a chance to scale back," she continues in a recent column.  "You want to avoid hurting the feelings of someone who spends a lot on you.  They might be expecting something more in return that a homemade candle."

New Ways to Give
The Bible says we are to return gifts to God as we have been prospered (1 Cor. 16:2). God doesn't expect us to shower Him with lavish gifts if our financial state is tenuous—no matter how many gifts He has showered on us. The same principle must apply in the human realm. People with differing income levels may not have the same capacity for gift-giving. And a tit-for-tat attitude can leave some feeling forever beholden and inferior.

Thus Singletary cites as one novel option the possibility of a "Christmas gift exemption voucher," releasing the recipient from any obligation to provide a gift. (The vouchers can be downloaded from www.adbusters.org/campaigns/bnd/toolbox/voucher.html, a Web site run by a non-profit group in Vancouver, British Columbia. Or you can design your own. Another possibility is the creation of "service" coupons, which promise a free back rub, a game of basketball, a trip to the zoo, or just uninterrupted time in an activity of the recipient's choosing.

Fortunately, for those wanting ideas on how to reformulate Christmas, the trail has already been blazed. The Internet is always a rich field for exploration. And a quick computer search of the books about Christmas in my county's library showed more than 1,300 titles, many of them brimming with ideas of how families can celebrate the holiday. The books' contents range from stories to activity ideas to reflections. While the quality of local resources will vary, most libraries will have a good selection.

Although we don't know the date that Christ was born or even the time of year, for centuries the Christian world has commemorated this grand event on December 25. What an opportunity to express our love to God as well as to family and friends.

In doing so, however, we need to remember that Jesus came to this world as the Prince of Peace, and He promised to give us His peace. If our celebration of His birth is bringing us stress and tension rather than peace, Christ, I'm certain, would want us to modify what we're doing. He would fully understand. And granted how widespread the stress and tension caused by Christmas has become, I believe that most of our fellow humans would understand too.

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James Coffin is senior pastor of Markham Woods Church in Longwood, Florida.