ou may smoke or chew and spit tobacco. You may drink alcohol. You may brazenly break the dress code and swear like a salt-crusted sailor. You may cheat, steal, and lie.

"You may do those things, and they will obviously get you into trouble. But—please believe me here—those will not bring out my discipline and anger as fast or as far as something else will. For with those behaviors you are basically hurting yourself.

"Listen, now. In my class, and anywhere I am at this school, I will come down hardest if you are mean toward someone else. Meanness will absolutely not be tolerated. We will treat each other with kindness, dignity, and respect always. Do you understand?

"When you cross the threshold of this classroom, you enter a sanctuary. You are safe here."

I began every year teaching junior academy with these words.

***

In our culture"love" is flabby, flimsy, hackneyed. We love our Cadillacs and our macaroni and cheese. We love our weekends and our Rockport shoes. We love without sacrifice or discipline or nurture. The radio whimpers, "Baby, I love you, I need you—so let me mistreat you."

Yet God is love. Despite today's absurd treatment, love remains God's defining characteristic. In contrast to Descartes, God declares, "I love, therefore I AM."

Is love our defining characteristic? Is love a primary qualification to be a church administrator? a pastor? a teacher? Or are we in danger of tossing it off along with the "Caring Church" motto of a decade ago? Maybe it's merely a polyester trend; it'll pass away. We'll move on to something else. And we would lose our God.

***

My wife teaches at a public school of 750 students, grades 1 through 6. Yolanda previously taught only in Seventh-day Adventist schools where the maximum enrollment (through grade 6) was 60. She wondered how this school would be different from her private school experience. Halfway through her first year I asked her to describe the main difference.

"Even with all these hundreds of children, there are virtually no fights, no loud arguments." She spoke with wonder in her voice. "The students and teachers all treat each other with respect and kindness. It's incredible."

"How do they do it?" I inquired.

Yolanda considered for a while. "The principal has us focus on it continually," she said."We teach respect each day through activities. The teachers are reminded of it and trained to implement it in every meeting. Kindness is never taken for granted. We work hard at it."

Obviously, not every public school mirrors Yolanda's experience. However, we must ask ourselves, How hard are we working at developing a respectful atmosphere? Is it top priority? Jesus said, "The children of this world are in their generation wiser than the children of light" (Luke 16:8).

My verbal response to those who try to offend or stun me through outlandish or frightful behavior is often "I think you're a better person than that."

Inside, though, I'm thinking You cannot offend me. Every moment I carry the nails of Christ's death in my pockets. I know what I am capable of, and that knowledge humbles me with every breath I draw. I can neither despise nor belittle you. Welcome to freedom, friend. Enter the land of beginning again.

***

In our schools and in our churches we have lost hundreds of thousands of children to meanness. Pettiness, bullying, and exclusiveness have frozen our children's hearts. You know it's true.

Ellen White writes hundreds of pages on the urgency of loving. "[God] wants us to be pitiful [sympathetic] and courteous. He wants us to educate ourselves to believe that our brethren love us, and believe that Christ loves us. Love begets love" (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 9, p. 193).

Perhaps our best evangelism would be to begin each school and church year with a declaration of war against meanness and for love. Then we need to continually work hard at affirmation and practical training.

We Adventists may not smoke or drink or curse. We may not cheat, steal, or lie. But—please believe God—if we are mean-spirited, we have gained nothing. Absolutely nothing.

_________________________
Chris Blake teaches at Union College in Lincoln, Nebraska.