DAM AND EVE HAD ALL THE trappings of a tender, romantic, and passionate sexual life together. When they turned to face each other for the first time, Adam must have gasped in amazement: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man” (Gen. 2:23). God certainly knew the deep longing for closeness that Adam felt for Eve, and Eve for Adam; so He presumably performed the first marriage with dispatch. A Match Made in Heaven Our first parents had very few distractions that day. There were no other humans to attend to, no cries of needy children, no telephones to answer, nothing to interrupt their concentration. And if flowers and flowing streams had the same effect as today, I imagine that the new couple might have been overwhelmed with anticipation to share precious moments locked in each other’s embrace.

Additional Resources

He Wants. She Wants. Emotional Intimacy Swept Away

The lush fragrance of roses and gardenias must have provided a fragrant potpourri in their expansive bedroom. The soft verdant lawn for a bed and the hanging gardens for a ceiling would have served to create a most romantic setting for these two who had just been given the divine mandate and privilege of experiencing the ecstasy of being “one flesh.”

They had no reservations. The divine go-ahead and the uninhibited nature of the pair freed them of shame in their moments of intimacy; they were completely comfortable in the nakedness of body, mind, and spirit.

What else would you expect of these two in this awesome setting? We have no stories of Adam and Eve’s first sexual encounter, but you can imagine, can’t you? The embrace? The laughter? The passionate outbursts? The satisfied silence?

“And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day” (Gen. 1:31). Adam and Eve had their fill; they felt the release, and needed a period to recoup their energies. It was pure pleasure.

I’m guessing that by now your sanctified imagination might be a bit jostled, if not insulted. Let me assuage myself of personal responsibility. If Adam and Eve were both present in the garden after the marriage blessing, and if they were both human, and if the setting was as we imagine, why may we expect anything less lovely from them? Everything in the garden was “very good”: the pair, the setting, the embrace, the sexual encounter, and the pleasure.

God’s Good Gift
A negative reaction to the thought of Adam and Eve enjoying sexual intimacy is not new. It is a reaction I often see as I speak with others about the human sexual experience. One of the most difficult thoughts for many to capture is that of someone in the previous generation being sexually active.

But this negativity about sex is our legacy from many centuries of distorted views about the subject, which is, in fact, one of God’s most precious gifts to His creatures. We are sexual creatures 24 hours a day, seven days a week. This integration of body, emotions, and spirituality is what makes us fully human.

According to Plato, humans had two parts: soul and body. He said that the soul was not only capable of high ideals, but also had an identity apart from the body; and it was at its best when freed from the body. This has been called dualism.

Plato thought of the body and sensuality as fetters that hinder the soul. The body, being matter, was thought to have all the defects of matter. Sex, because of its association with the body, was thought to be sinful.

These views seeped down to us through some of the custodians of religious thought during the early church period, the Dark Ages, and as late as the Reformation. It was these ideas—not the rightly understood biblical truths, or even the traditions of Judaism—that negatively impacted our present views of God’s precious gift of sex. The negative views of human sexuality have convinced many that sex is a necessary evil, and that its purpose is essentially for procreation, not recreation.

I will be bold and say that sex was not given solely for procreation. The sexual behaviors of lower life forms show a basic difference from that of humans. While animals have seasonal and instinctual urges, humans have more perennial desires; that is, with sufficient rest, health, and quality of relationship, humans are able and even eager to join together in sexual union.*

God gave sex for the delight of His creatures to keep hearts and bodies aflame with passion throughout their earthly lifetime of marriage. We will do well to resist the enemy’s plan to distort this God-given gift or detract from our fond appreciation of it.

A Prescription for Passion
Let’s return to a discussion of the circumstances of our first parents (as mentioned above) and determine which of these we might transplant from the first garden to our own garden of love and intimacy.

Novelty. In the human sexual experience novelty is characterized by yearning, anticipation, and spontaneity. Establishing a new life together and getting to understand each other as sexual beings takes place during the first few years of marriage and sets the tone for the nature and quality of sexual experience thereafter. This period needs to be guarded well. Consider-ation for each other’s likes and dislikes, appetites, moods, and manners is crucial. There is also the implied need to keep the experience fresh.

Creativity is another word applicable here, and it should be employed often in the sexual experience of a couple. Said the wise man, “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice in the wife of thy youth” (Prov. 5:18). Implied is the injunction to take delight in the partner that you had when you were young. And to do that, you have to keep sex fresh and exciting.

Appreciation. It might go without saying that appreciation of each other is central to a good sexual relationship. If appreciation is characterized by “wow”s, tender words, gifts, a desire for physical closeness, and a lavish amount of non-sexual touching, then appreciation is a must-have for sexual fulfillment.

Mutual respect, tenderness, and thoughtful consideration are a low-key kind of foreplay that brings great satisfaction to the sexual union.

On the other hand, a major complaint heard from many marriages is one partner feeling a deep lack of appreciation from the other. A depreciation of a partner’s appearance or body image, or a negative comment about sexual performance, has the potential to create a wound that may be long in healing. More appreciation expressed for each other is sage advice. Sons and daughters of Adam and Eve may well gasp in admiration of each other as did Adam when he saw his new bride.

Minimal Distraction. Privacy and freedom from preoccupation go a long way in preserving the moments of sexual enjoyment and pleasure. Several factors in many homes may challenge these ideals. A lack of adequate space in the home to ensure well-deserved privacy, the presence or awareness of young children, and a preoccupation with the demands of life may compound this challenge.

As wonderful as children are, securing their constant care and nurture may leave little time for intimate moments and may turn two lovers into strangers in their own home. Research suggests that the presence of children in the home is associated with a diminishing of some aspects of sexuality and intimacy for couples. Under-standing these challenges and making the necessary effort to offset these distractions is important in sustaining sexual well-being.

Setting. The Old Testament book Song of Solomon is replete with allusions to the setting for sexual play. We read of bed, perfume, flowers, and anticipation for the embrace of the beloved—all mentioned unabashedly.

The setting is important in sexual intimacy. Planning for and creating a good atmosphere or mood, employing the senses to heighten the level of sexual arousal, sexual thoughts about the moments to come, and the expression of those feelings are all discussed explicitly in the Sacred Writings.

Lasting Principles
Let me end with some principles about sexual relationships that are clearly stated in the Bible:

• Trust and openness in the relationship are essential and enjoined. “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Gen. 2:25).
• The sexual relationship is to be enjoyed. “Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love” (Prov. 5:19).
• Both husbands and wives are givers and receivers in the sexual experience. “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. . . . Defraud ye not one the other” (1 Cor. 7:3-5).
• A positive attitude regarding marriage and sexuality is scriptural. “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed [coitus] undefiled” (Heb. 13:4).

The beauty of the sexual experience between husband and wife is a wonderful and precious gift from God—a necessary element in a strong marriage. Using the gift in ways that promote marital happiness and harmony glorifies Him. A product of living God’s ideal in this area will produce years of precious intimacy.

God knew that from the beginning. That’s why He invented it.

*The story of Onan in Genesis 38 is hardly an allusion to God’s displeasure about sex for recreation. A distinct societal mandate was given to Onan to impregnate his deceased brother’s wife. While he went to her, he was determined not to do his familial duty. It was this rebellious act that caused God’s displeasure.

Suggested Reading
The Gift of Sex, by Clifford and Joyce Penner.
Real Life Marriage, by Lucy and Dennis Guernsey
The Act of Marriage, by Tim and Beverly LaHaye
Love Life for Every Married Couple, by Ed Wheat and Gloria Okes Perkins

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Curtis A. Fox is a member of the faculty of counseling and family sciences at Loma Linda University, California.