Y HUSBAND HAD finished his postgraduate training. We’d lived in the same Seventh-day Adventist community for 10 years. It was time for us to move on. We were both very involved in our local church—if anything, we were overcommitted—and the move provided a respite from church responsibility for a little while. As we visited the church in our new neighborhood, however, we weren’t prepared for how much we would learn about the importance of friendliness.

As we sought a new church home, we learned that there are hospitality methods every church group could incorporate as they consider the importance of warmth and graciousness. All Adventist congregations appear to be friendly if you know the people, and some are friendly even if you don’t. It’s possible, however, that occasionally people might enter your church with only the greeters speaking to them. Every member should claim responsibility for amicably greeting visitors and new members.

Sometimes we wonder how a person would be treated if they came into the sanctuary dressed very differently than the rest of us. But maybe each church group could benefit from evaluating how a person dressed just like themselves is treated as they come through the door of the church.

Listed here are some of the things we learned as we left our home church and sought a new church home.

Suggestions for Keeping in Touch With
Church Members Who Have Moved
1. Stay in touch with members who have moved away, especially in the first six months. Call and chat or just drop a quick note in the mail or on the Internet. Remember, you don’t have to write a book. You could just jot a message on a bulletin to update them on church news, and mail it. The first few months are often the most difficult, and a little encouragement and support can go a long way.

2. If you know someone in the area to which the person is moving, call or write that person and encourage them to get acquainted with your member. A new friend can make a move much easier.

3. Pastors could write a note to a pastor in the area to which the parishioners are moving, including a new address and phone number, if possible. This would alert the pastor and the church to befriend these people.

Suggestions for Church Members
as They Meet Visitors
1. Every member should make an effort to be friendly and stretch beyond their circle of friends. Don’t expect the greeters to do all the welcoming. If you’re sitting by someone you don’t know, introduce yourself and get acquainted.

2. Potlucks are an opportunity to get to know people. You may want to invite the visitors or new members to come to your table. Prior to the meal, the person asking the blessing could facilitate people’s meeting each other.

3. Greeters should try to speak to everyone. The greeters need to be certain that no one slips by unnoticed.

4. Following the first visit in a church, a pastoral letter of welcome could be sent. This affirms that someone recognized that visitors were there and would encourage them to attend again. It could also include an offer of pastoral assistance, if needed.

5. Have small group gatherings with newcomers included. Examples might be: a cradle roll family picnic, an adult Sabbath school class vespers, or an after-church hike. Events could be announced a couple weeks in advance, and the group leader could give a special invitation to newcomers. Not only would this type of event help encourage visitors to become members, but it would make your existing members more at ease with one another.

6. Define your groups periodically. The church calendar in the bulletin generally lists the date, time, event and the name of the group. Church members may know who is included in the young marrieds group or couples group, but the visitors may not. The names of groups can be misleading. Are children welcome? Is baby-sitting provided? Is this for a particular age group? One church started a young marrieds group, and the members enjoyed the fellowship so much that they were still meeting as senior citizens.

7. Set aside a few minutes in church or Sabbath school from time to time to allow people to meet/greet each other. The lesson and sermon are important, but so is Christian fellowship.

8. Have a “welcome wagon” committee that especially welcomes newcomers to the church and community. The committee could inform new residents of community and church events and at the same time befriend individuals.

Suggestions for a Person Who Has Moved
1. Introduce yourself to someone with whom you think you might have something in common, and then, when appropriate, suggest an activity that you might do together. Keep trying even if the first few people with whom you speak aren’t interested. Even if you’re not a sanguine or an extrovert, push yourself to meet people.

2. Invite the pastor and their family to dinner. It’s a nice way to learn about them and the church. The pastor may be able to suggest people with interests similar to yours, of families with children the same age, and small groups at which you might meet more people.

3. Remember that the primary reason we go to church is to worship God. Keep attending even if you don’t find fellowship immediately.

4. If someone gives you their phone number and writes yours down, don’t wait for them to call you. Call within the next day or two while they still remember who you are, and try to arrange a time to get together.

5. Seek out other visitors and new people. They may be looking for new friends too.

6. Pray that God will send you a friend.

Research says that those with seven or more friends in a church are those most likely to remain in the church.* It behooves us all to show ourselves friendly (Prov. 18:24), and reach out to each other.

*Win Arn, Charles Arn, and Carol Nyquist, Who Cares About Love? Pasadena, Calif.: Church Growth Press, 1982), p. 180.

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Sharon Worth is a pseudonym.