nside the August 14, 2000, issue of Newsweek appeared a fascinating book excerpt from Evan Thomas's Robert Kennedy: His Life (Simon and Schuster). The excerpt details 13 extraordinary days of the 1962 Cuban missile crisis. What makes the narrative particularly riveting is that much of the material comes directly from secret tapes recorded by President John F. Kennedy.

Though the former U.S.S.R. had sworn not to place offensive weapons there, aerial photos that October revealed that Soviet nuclear missiles were indeed deployed in Cuba. Everyone at the highest levels of United States government viewed this as an intolerable threat. But how should they respond?

"President Kennedy was under considerable pressure from the military to strike. Meeting alone with the president on Friday morning, the Joint Chiefs of Staff virtually bullied the president to begin bombing. . . . `You're in a pretty bad fix, Mr. President,' said [Gen. Curtis] LeMay. `What did you say?' asked Kennedy, taken aback. . . . `You're in a bad fix,' repeated LeMay, almost as if he was enjoying his civilian master's discomfort. Kennedy mumbled a joke, but he was not amused. `Those brass hats have one great advantage in their favor,' JFK groused to his aide, Kenny O'Donnell. `If we . . . do what they want us to do, none of us will be alive later to tell them they're wrong.'"

With the exception of decisions made in the gardens of Eden and Gethsemane, Kennedy's decision would impact the lives of more people than had any decision in history. Had he decided to bomb, more than 100 million lives might have been immediately lost, with the cataclysmic effects of a nuclear winter to follow. All 1,400 of the country's nuclear bombers went on 24-hour alert. U.S. strategists discussed evacuation possibilities for major cities.

"The top White House officials were handed envelopes to be opened in case of attack. Inside were directions to landing sites from which helicopters would supposedly whisk them to a mountain cave in Virginia. `I'm not going,' RFK told his aide Ed Guthman. `If it comes to that, there'll be 60 million Americans killed and as many Russians or more. I'll be at Hickory Hill [RFK's home].'"

Fortunately, the nuclear holocaust was averted. "In order to save the world, Premier Nikita Khrushchev had declared to the Soviet Presidium, `We must retreat.'"*

But my mouth hung open as I read: "Only the Joint Chiefs were dejected. `We lost!' Gen. Curtis LeMay bellowed at President Kennedy. `We ought to just go in there today and knock 'em off!'"

What an incredible, infantile perspective! To avoid "losing," let's kill off 120 million people! To their credit, the Kennedys comported themselves like adults during this crisis: "JFK steady and reasonable, RFK urgent and probing."

Of the many lessons to learn from this account (including how we must pray for political and military leaders, no matter how much we deplore their ways), here is one for the ages: To act as an adult is to refuse to raise the risk, to decline to heighten the mounting hysteria, even when we know we are in the right. No matter how tormented by goading, whining, sniping, or bullying, we will not respond in like manner.

This lesson is applicable in community service and church boards. This lesson is germane to families, between parents and children, husbands and wives. Too much is at stake here. One life is too much to hazard with adolescent bellowing or sulking or finger-pointing. One bomb of nuclear words may destroy a child, a pastor, a church family. It's happened before.

Instead, we are called to self-discipline, to fight back the urge to rain general destruction on our target. "So put away all malice and all guile and all insincerity and envy and all slander" (1 Peter 2:1, RSV). Supplement "knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness" (2 Peter 1:6). Do the right thing always, "and the God of peace will be with you" (Phil. 4:9).

Those days of the Cuban missile crisis are past, yet lives still hang in the balance. How are you behaving?

*Khrushchev eventually lost his position over the incident, proving again that doing what's right doesn't mean gaining the world's applause.

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Chris Blake teaches English and communications at Union College in Lincoln, Nebraska.