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Premarital Guidance in the
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While the Adventist Church has for many years encouraged our ministers to lead couples contemplating marriage through a premarital preparation process, much more needs to be done to create an effective marriage preparation program. It has been 15 years since we last published premarital guidance information, revising Preparing for Marriage in 1985. In 1984 the Annual Council of the Seventh-day Adventist Church voted to adopt a plan for premarital education. In 1996 the new Department of Family Ministries World Advisory voted to reaffirm and expand the 1984 Annual Council action on premarital education. In January 1999 at the advisory meeting of the NAD Department of Family Ministries held in San Diego, California, an action was taken to recommend a premarital guidance policy to the North American Division Committee's annual year-end meeting. In April 1999 Ron and Karen Flowers, from the Depart-ment of Family Ministries of the General Conference of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, convened a world premarital guidance task force. The task force reviewed existing premarital guidance materials within the Adventist Church, reviewed the premarital guidance literature in general, developed an improved curricular framework, and decided a direction for the future of premarital guidance within the Adventist Church. In November 1999 at the North American Division committee's year-end meeting the following premarital guidance policy was voted by the committee members, who represented every one of the 58 conferences and nine union conferences in North America: Premarital Guidance
2. Objectives of Premarital Guidance: This process should be undertaken at a minimum of four to six months before the wedding with the following objectives: a. To strengthen the couple's commitment to each other based on biblical principles undergirding Christian marriage, among which are agape love, lifelong covenant faithfulness, and mutual submission. b. To prepare the couple for transition to married life, providing opportunity for them to anticipate predictable changes and to reach agreement on their expectations of each other in marriage. c. To enhance the couple's relational skills of communication, processing of anger, problem solving, resolving conflicts in mutually acceptable ways, and giving and receiving affection. d. To assist the couple to evaluate their decision to marry by looking realistically at their reasons and readiness for marriage. 3. Use of Most Effective Methods: Approaches found to be most effective in generating higher levels of marital satisfaction should be used. Effective approaches provide objective assessment through use of testing instruments, help the couple to understand themselves and each other through dialog on a wide spectrum of marital issues, and to build relational skills. 4. Materials and Training: For a suggested method of approach to premarital guidance, as well as material to share with couples for self-study in instances in which personal pastoral guidance is not possible, resources are available from the Department of Family Ministries and the Ministerial Association. Conferences and local churches, in counsel with the Department of Family Ministries and the Ministerial Association at the next higher level of church organization, should provide leadership development programs in premarital guidance for qualified lay leaders and for pastors not otherwise prepared in their ministerial training. 5. Education of Youth: Ideally, preparation for marriage begins at home with parental modeling of healthy marital relationships during child rearing. Parental education programs can enhance the effectiveness of this responsibility. Efforts should be put forth to supplement home training by age-appropriate instruction in the church school and Sabbath School programs. (To download a copy of the premarital policy, go to the NAD Family Ministries Web site at http://www.nadadventist.org/family/premarital.htm.) Currently the Department of Family Ministries and the Ministerial Association of the North American Division are working in tandem to develop appropriate resources and training modalities in premarital guidance for ministers by January 2001. _________________________
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