Isn’t it strange how songs you’ve sung and known forever can suddenly take on a deep and powerful new meaning the first time you hear them again after your life takes an unexpected turn? Like Karen Carpenter’s “Merry Christmas Darling,” that ends “I’ve just one wish on this Christmas Eve: I wish I were with you.”
How beautiful and sparkling the world seemed at Christmastime when I loved that song as a child . . . Now, well, you can guess how it makes me feel: Greg and I had no idea last Christmas would actually be our last Christmas.
Some years, some dates, may begin in happiness, but end in loneliness and loss . . . And there are numbers now on my monthly calendar that I dread and wish could be eliminated forever.
In 2014 I discovered that the picture I had of Greg and me walking this earthly path together was “not big enough”—there were always three of us. Now there’s only two.
I’ve realized how kind and loving God truly is: even though I’ll never understand His timing and leading, I trust His heart.
I’ve been continually reminded how thankful I am that I accepted Jesus when I was young and have continued to be part of His family.
I was happy to have discovered that my faith was real when it counted the most, and that my God gave “peace that passes all understanding” (see Phil. 4:7) at a time when I could not think, let alone understand.
I have found, to my great happiness, that people who love Jesus are the people I’m proud to call my friends and family.
I feel confident that our prayers are a powerful foundation, and that our God honors and answers us as He sees best.
So if I were to sum up 2014, I would have to conclude that:
It was a year of growth and setbacks,
yet filled with love and laughter,
heartache, tears, and once unimagined sorrow,
trials that tested my soul to its core;
and that the Lord Jesus Christ is strong enough.
I now know “that all things work together for good to them that love God” (Rom. 8:28, KJV).
May 2015 be blessed with more love for Him and be rewarded with the honor of His presence.
Lesa Budd lost her husband to a motorcycle accident in June 2014. She now works for QuestLine Productions in Tennessee, United States.
